I've mentioned before that one of the myths of Japanese-style rope bondage is that it's too complicated or hard to learn. Nope! Just like the saying about Go (or is it Othello): minutes to learn, a lifetime to master.
And, not everyone is looking to do complex work. Sometimes it's just fun to tie someone off to a bed, y'know?
Have a few minutes? Want to learn a few basics? The talented Twisted Monk has a few things to show you.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
GloRoMo redux - this time it's personal
Some part of me wants to squeal like Hiro in Heroes now: "Yata!!!! I did it!"
Or maybe I just love doing my part . . .
Or maybe I just love doing my part . . .
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Yoga for Rope Enthusiasts: Pt. 1
I started taking yoga a little over two years ago to expand my capacity and flexibility as a rope bottom.
By luck, I began to practice perhaps the best type of yoga for rope enthusiasts. I study Iyengar Yoga, a style which emphasizes the use of props (blankets, blocks, straps) to intensify and better align poses, works strongly on balanced standing poses, and has an emphasis on mental discipline.
Now that I am topping, I'm even more intrigued by yoga as a mental and physical discipline. I watch with dual awareness as my teacher aligns students. I note how long people can hold certain poses. I observe how I come to inner quiet after an hour of struggling with and against the poses. Bridgett Harrington, in an article for Pagan BDSM and the Ordeal Path suggests a link between the way yoga uses straps and props and the way bondage folks use rope, and I'm inclined to agree. If there is one single practice I could recommend to rope bottoms (besides being in rope more often!), yoga would be it. That's not because I'm looking for the proverbial 98-pound model who's as flexible as Gumby, either. What really intrigues me is the self-discipline it takes to really do yoga, which is (in my opinion) the same self-discipline it takes to dance in the ropes.
To that end, I'm going to dedicate a few Tuesdays to poses I'm interested in for rope bottoms. For starters . . .
Beginners
Any pose whatsoever. At this point, I'm less interested in what you can do and more interested in the fact that you can make it through a one-hour yoga class and stick with it. I'm particularly interested that you can get through savasana, the corpse pose at the end, and still your monkey mind for a while.
(to be continued . . . )
By luck, I began to practice perhaps the best type of yoga for rope enthusiasts. I study Iyengar Yoga, a style which emphasizes the use of props (blankets, blocks, straps) to intensify and better align poses, works strongly on balanced standing poses, and has an emphasis on mental discipline.
Now that I am topping, I'm even more intrigued by yoga as a mental and physical discipline. I watch with dual awareness as my teacher aligns students. I note how long people can hold certain poses. I observe how I come to inner quiet after an hour of struggling with and against the poses. Bridgett Harrington, in an article for Pagan BDSM and the Ordeal Path suggests a link between the way yoga uses straps and props and the way bondage folks use rope, and I'm inclined to agree. If there is one single practice I could recommend to rope bottoms (besides being in rope more often!), yoga would be it. That's not because I'm looking for the proverbial 98-pound model who's as flexible as Gumby, either. What really intrigues me is the self-discipline it takes to really do yoga, which is (in my opinion) the same self-discipline it takes to dance in the ropes.
To that end, I'm going to dedicate a few Tuesdays to poses I'm interested in for rope bottoms. For starters . . .
Beginners
Any pose whatsoever. At this point, I'm less interested in what you can do and more interested in the fact that you can make it through a one-hour yoga class and stick with it. I'm particularly interested that you can get through savasana, the corpse pose at the end, and still your monkey mind for a while.
(to be continued . . . )
Monday, November 27, 2006
Monday came far too soon
Long, long weekend. No time for profound thoughts, although I hope to have some new pictures soon.
Right now I leave you with the thought that (while they are no substitute for sleep) root beer floats and Bad Willow episodes of Buffy make some lovely post-play fun.
Right now I leave you with the thought that (while they are no substitute for sleep) root beer floats and Bad Willow episodes of Buffy make some lovely post-play fun.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Containing Beauty and Darkness: Twinned Pentacles of Power Exchange
The original version of this article was published in Witcheye: A Journal of Feri Uprising Issue 13. The article has been slightly amended for those who might not be familiar with Feri traditions and tools.
In the Feri creation myth, the Star Goddess looks into the mirror of space, sees her opposite mirrored back, and falls in love. Through her ecstasy, she births twins: brothers and lovers, tumbling in cosmic play. These divine twins circle and dance, spinning out universes of possibility and transformation, generating transformative energy through the cycling of their difference, and the axis of their common birth.
The twins dance through us when we are entwined with our lovers, spinning threads of difference:
Light and darkness.
Beauty and terror.
Pain and ecstasy.
Magick and Power Exchange
In the practice of power exchange, the divine twins can provide sacred patronage under which to hold the polarities of dominance and submission, or consensual sadomasochism. These practices provide a container through which lovers can generate powerful creative energy through the eroticism of difference.
Dominance and submission? Sadism and masochism? For magickians who haven't worked with these energies, the fit with the divine erotic might not be intuitive. Witches in some Feri lines (such as Starhawk in Reclaiming) have even called these types of play a perversion of life force. So, what do I mean when I invoke these charged words?
While far from simple, BDSM roles function most simply as priest/ess and trance journeyer. A top or dominant in a consensual scene functions as priest/ess - the person who watches, directs and manages the flow of intense energy. This allows the bottom or submissive to safely travel as edgewalker - one who through the skilled facilitation of the top can navigate the inner worlds of altered consciousness and journey to other realms.
One route to ecstasy is the use of sensation play, which may include sensory stimulation, sensory deprivation, or pain play. Midori, a teacher and writer in the BDSM scene, is careful to distinguish between pain play and the larger field of sensation play. I am fond of her definition of a sadist as one who enjoys creating intense sensation (of whatever type) in another. Other roles might involve fantasy play without physical contact - we might think of this as ritual theater. For the purposes of this article, I will use "top" to describe those taking on the active role: be that sadist, dominant, or some other role. I will use "bottom" to describe the participant who is being directed, by that in a masochistic, or submissive, or service role, or in some other way. (A full description of the roles of BDSM top or bottom can take an entire book - and has! I strongly recommend The Topping Book and The Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy for more information on this topic.)
BDSM practitioners largely describe their play as "safe, sane and consensual". Others call their play "risk-aware consensual kink," acknowledging more explicitly that while we aim for work that is ultimately safe, this work -- like the work of Feri itself -- is dangerous, not least in the sense that it is life changing. Both terms draw a firm line between the fully-informed consent of power exchange and non-consensual abuse. In both models, our task is to create strong containers in which to do edgy work as safely and intentionally as possible for those involved.
The Iron Pentacle
In Feri, one of the best such anchors is the Iron Pentacle. Daily work with the birthright powers of Sex, Pride, Self, Power and Passion keeps us grounded and centered and serves as an anchor for the rest of our work.
A full exploration of the Iron Pentacle is beyond the scope of any one article. In Feri, the work of the Iron Pentacle is considered the work of a lifetime: a tool to be contemplated in meditation, a set of energies to be run through the body, an anchor to one's iron blood and the iron core of the earth herself. Learning to distinguish between the pure Iron Will of Pride, for example, and differentiate that quality from shame or arrogance requires ruthless self-examination and vital courage. It is not undertaken lightly. Those who wish to undertake this work might seek out a local Reclaiming or Feri teacher; both traditions teach Iron Pentacle as a core class. In areas where such classes aren't available, I recommend T. Thorn Coyle's excellent Evolutionary Witchcraft.
Power Exchange Pentacles
Seeking a way to integrate my BDSM work with my magickal practice, I created the Power Exchange Pentacles as a working tool. These pentacles stack on top of and beneath the Iron Pentacle to initiate and anchor a shift from ordinary consciousness into 'topspace' or 'bottomspace' for BDSM play. Because of the way topspace and bottomspace play off one another in scene, one danger of scening is that we become reactive rather than fully embodying action and choice within our roles. (This danger might seem more intuitive for the bottom, but in fact is true in either role.) These pentacles keep us in the realm of action rather than reaction. They anchor both topspace and bottomspace as a conscious choice, fully connected with our Will and our Iron birthrights, allowing for deeper and more intentional travel into the altered spaces of scene play.
The Topping Pentacle
Circumference, Domination, Guardianship, Control, Compassion
Start by grounding, aligning and centering. If there is anything obstructing your energy, or which may cause you to confuse your priest/essing role with actual domination or control, use a purification rite to release those blocks.
Ground a cord to the center of the earth, and on a breath pull up the molten energy from the earth's core to the center of your head, the point of Sex. Run the Iron Pentacle through your body, feeling the hot, red iron energy energize the points of Sex, Pride, Self, Power and Passion. Run the Iron Pentacle across your body until you feel completely filled with and grounded in these energies, and then run once more around the body to seal the pentacle: From Sex to Self, to Passion, to Pride, to Power.
At the head, feel the spirit of Sex shift into Circumference. Running to the right leg, feel Pride shift to the role of Domination. Running the energy up to the left arm, feel Self shift into Guardianship. Running the energy across to the right arm, feel Power shift to Control. Running the energy down to the left leg, feel Passion shift to Compassion.
Continue run the energy across the body. As you do, feel the Iron energy begin to cool slightly. From the molten Iron which connects you to the earth, allow these energies to transform, through your cool-headedness, into an iron cauldron in which you can contain the energies of BDSM work. Feel your ability to hold the circumference and spirit of the work, your pride in holding a hot role that will please your bottom, your expansive ability to guard your partner's safe journeys to the edges of their Self, your ability to competently control and ground the energies of the scene, and your deep compassion for the emotional changes that this work brings.
Circumference, Domination, Guardianship, Control, Compassion. Run the pentacle across your body until you feel the cool power of the compassionate and competent top, fully grounded in the connection of your iron cauldron to the life force in the heart of the earth. When you are ready, run the pentacle once more around your body, as God Herself would draw it onto you: Circumference, Guardianship, Compassion, Domination, Control. Anchor those energies into your body, knowing that you can reconnect with these points as needed to facilitate your scene.
The Bottoming Pentacle
Center, Submission, Edgewalking, Release, Trust
Start by grounding, aligning and centering. If there is anything at all which obstructs your energy, or which may might cause you to confuse your choice to submit with true subordination, use a purification rite to release those blocks and to honor your power.
Check in with yourself. Are you starting from a place of power and in alignment with your Will? If you cannot answer both questions with "yes," this is probably not the time to scene. Remember: you cannot exchange power you do not have.
Ground a cord to the center of the earth, and on a breath pull up the molten energy from the earth's core to the center of your head, the point of Sex. Run the Iron Pentacle through your body, feeling the hot, red iron energy energize the points of Sex, Pride, Self, Power and Passion. Run the IP across your body until filled with and grounded in these energies, and then run once more around the body to seal the pentacle.
In your head, feel the spirit of Sex shift into Center. Running to the right leg, feel Pride shift to the role of Submission. Running the energy up to the left arm, feel Self shift into Edgewalking. Running the energy across to the right arm, feel Power allow for Release. Running the energy down to the left leg, feel Passion build Trust.
Continue to run the energy across the body. As you do so, allow the Iron energy to remain molten and flow freely. Feel your sex energy at the center remain fluid, allowing you to flexibly and move with the spirit of the play to come. Move through your sex energy deeply into the edgespace at your center, the center of sacred work and sacred play. Step into a submissive role that is rooted in the heat of your pride: your ability to submit without shame to pleasure. Step into the airy and spacious edges of self. Empower yourself to release your agency for the duration of the scene. Passionately open to the deep waters of trust for your partner and the intensity of your desire.
Center, Submission, Edgewalking, Release, Trust. Run the pentacle across your body until you feel the liquid force of a fully empowered and willing bottom, fully grounded in the connection of your molten iron energy with the life force in the heart of the earth. When you are ready, run the pentacle once more around your body, as God Herself would draw it onto you: Center, Edgewalking, Trust, Submission, Release. Anchor those energies into your body, knowing that you can reconnect with these points as needed to relax fully into your scene.
Using the Pentacles
I most often use the Topping or Bottoming Pentacle as a solo practice to prepare myself not only for going into scene, but also for gaining clarity before going into kink-focused social events. I am a 'switch' (taking on a topping or bottoming role situationally, rather than preferring one or the other as an ongoing role), but started out bottoming. When I was first topping, I found the Topping pentacle very useful in solidifying an active priestessing role that was less intuitive for me.
Two or more partners can also run the pentacles simultaneously as a part of creating sacred space for a scene, starting by running iron together, then shifting into the respective pentacles to create the container for the work.
BDSM can lead to intense altered states. After the scene is completely finished, it's a good idea to fully release the topping and bottoming roles. Running the Iron Pentacle in tandem with your partner or alone is a good way to come fully back to 'normal' consciousnes after this work.
Sex: Circumference: Center
Sex is our connection to life force, which allows us to embody spirit through Ecstasy. In sexual exchanges without power play, the sex force might feel deeply connective: merging, entwining, becoming closer. In power exchange, connective life force also runs deeply, but it does so within a container created by difference and distinction, tension and differentiation. The top distances energetically from the bottom, and in so doing intensifies the arc of desire: the distance between lover and beloved opens up a space for longing.
The energetic connection between top and bottom is that of circumference to center, which opens to the mystery: these are in fact the same space after all.
Pride: Domination: Submission
The points of domination and submission are located at the position of pride. BDSM treats these positions as chosen roles for a type of ritual theater, not static positions. Many BDSM practitioners will tell you that the true power in a scene lies with the submissive, who chooses the parameters of the scene, and holds a 'safe word' to stop or pause the scene should it cross their boundaries, stated or unstated.
Feri tradition cautions witches not to submit their life force to any person or thing. It's important to note that submission in BDSM is not a giving over of the life force but rather a conscious choice made to explore polarity play, typically for a limited duration. Submission in scene is a deliberate role taken on, in alliance with the dominating priest/ess, to harness and contain life force. Domination is a role to embody the submissive's fantasies and desires. As with any ritual theater role, the roles of dominant and submissive are best aspected from a starting position of pride.
Self: Guardianship: Edgewalking
The energies of power exchange play -- like all magick -- can be deeply transformative. Cultivating a strong sense of Self allows tops and bottoms to step clearly and fully into those roles -- and back out of them.
In play, the bottom is able to explore edges. It is the edge that is impacted by sensation play, where the top and his or her tools come up against the boundary of the skin. D/s play may work the psychological edges, exploring taboos that might be unacceptable to the everyday self. Particularly for bottoms, BDSM creates an opening for altering consciousness at will and exploring both inner space and other realms.
The responsible top functions as a guardian, allowing the bottom to safely navigate these other realms, watching that the bottom is able to safely explore their edges without in fact transgressing the boundaries needed to keep play safe.
Power: Control: Release
In order to exchange power, we must first have power to exchange. I cannot exchange power with you if I don't have any. BDSM is best suited to those who have a strong sense of their own power, and who are able to remain fully grounded.
One priestess has told me that she doesn't care for the term "power-exchange," because power is not truly exchanged through this work if done well, but is increased for both partners. Perhaps another way of looking at this point is agency exchange. The bottom consciously releases agency within a negotiated set of parameters that they would presumably not agree to out of scene. Stated or unstated, the bottom has asked to cede their power for the duration of play: "I will allow you to tie me up," or "Please spank me with a wooden paddle," or "Please order me to serve you." Within those parameters, the top controls the direction of the scene. On the meta-level, the bottom retains several measures of true agency: by participating in pre-negotiating the scene, and by holding 'safe words' that will allow them to stop or pause the scene if needed. Within the container of the scene, the bottom has the freedom to release their agency, knowing that their top will competently exercise control.
Passion: Compassion: Trust
BDSM can be 'technical', but it remains rooted in passion and desire. This play can open deep emotions and vulnerabilities for both partners.
Tops work best with compassion. As a top, I may be wielding a whippy cane or saying 'mean' things, but I can only do so safely with a profound respect for the bottom who is playing with me and who takes these blows. Topping without compassion risks crossing over in to abuse.
Compassion does not begin and end with a scene. When negotiating for a scene, it is important to hear what your partner does -- and does not -- want with compassion for both desire and its limits. It is not acceptable to denigrate another's wishes, especially in the vulnerable space of negotiation and scene. If as a top I cannot accommodate your desires, I need to speak to this compassionately. "How on earth can you be into that?" would be devastating to the bottom who has just confessed a taboo desire to me in trust. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can meet your needs for that. How about . . . ?" respects both the top's own desires and the integrity of a bottom's passion and trust. Even more importantly, a top must always respect limits and safewords. Boundaries are sacrosanct; a compassionate top does not violate them nor push.
A bottom needs to trust first their own instincts and then the top with whom they are playing. Trust in self always comes first. As a bottom, it is essential for me to listen to my fetch, that part of me that holds both my animal desire and my bodily knowing. There is a difference between fun and exhilarating fear, and actual concern. I have the obligation to myself to not play any top that will not honor my concerns or limits. If I run into a major concern mid-scene, I need to have the trust in myself and my top to use my safewords. Only after I fully trust myself can I begin to trust any top. Presumably, if I am playing with a top, I already have built some trust. Within scene, I should be willing to give that top a certain amount of agency and energetic support. And, if I have feedback, I should also give that with some compassion. (Tops are vulnerable, too!)
Conclusions
BDSM contains deep tools for healing, personal transformation, and ecstatic magick. BDSM can be used with intention to fully explore our full capacity as sexual human beings, and to know ourselves in all of our parts -- including parts that in everyday life are considered taboo or forbidden. Using our magickal tools -- alignment, purification, pentacle work -- reaffirms the sacred nature of this work.
In the Feri creation myth, the Star Goddess looks into the mirror of space, sees her opposite mirrored back, and falls in love. Through her ecstasy, she births twins: brothers and lovers, tumbling in cosmic play. These divine twins circle and dance, spinning out universes of possibility and transformation, generating transformative energy through the cycling of their difference, and the axis of their common birth.
The twins dance through us when we are entwined with our lovers, spinning threads of difference:
Light and darkness.
Beauty and terror.
Pain and ecstasy.
Magick and Power Exchange
In the practice of power exchange, the divine twins can provide sacred patronage under which to hold the polarities of dominance and submission, or consensual sadomasochism. These practices provide a container through which lovers can generate powerful creative energy through the eroticism of difference.
Dominance and submission? Sadism and masochism? For magickians who haven't worked with these energies, the fit with the divine erotic might not be intuitive. Witches in some Feri lines (such as Starhawk in Reclaiming) have even called these types of play a perversion of life force. So, what do I mean when I invoke these charged words?
While far from simple, BDSM roles function most simply as priest/ess and trance journeyer. A top or dominant in a consensual scene functions as priest/ess - the person who watches, directs and manages the flow of intense energy. This allows the bottom or submissive to safely travel as edgewalker - one who through the skilled facilitation of the top can navigate the inner worlds of altered consciousness and journey to other realms.
One route to ecstasy is the use of sensation play, which may include sensory stimulation, sensory deprivation, or pain play. Midori, a teacher and writer in the BDSM scene, is careful to distinguish between pain play and the larger field of sensation play. I am fond of her definition of a sadist as one who enjoys creating intense sensation (of whatever type) in another. Other roles might involve fantasy play without physical contact - we might think of this as ritual theater. For the purposes of this article, I will use "top" to describe those taking on the active role: be that sadist, dominant, or some other role. I will use "bottom" to describe the participant who is being directed, by that in a masochistic, or submissive, or service role, or in some other way. (A full description of the roles of BDSM top or bottom can take an entire book - and has! I strongly recommend The Topping Book and The Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy for more information on this topic.)
BDSM practitioners largely describe their play as "safe, sane and consensual". Others call their play "risk-aware consensual kink," acknowledging more explicitly that while we aim for work that is ultimately safe, this work -- like the work of Feri itself -- is dangerous, not least in the sense that it is life changing. Both terms draw a firm line between the fully-informed consent of power exchange and non-consensual abuse. In both models, our task is to create strong containers in which to do edgy work as safely and intentionally as possible for those involved.
The Iron Pentacle
In Feri, one of the best such anchors is the Iron Pentacle. Daily work with the birthright powers of Sex, Pride, Self, Power and Passion keeps us grounded and centered and serves as an anchor for the rest of our work.
A full exploration of the Iron Pentacle is beyond the scope of any one article. In Feri, the work of the Iron Pentacle is considered the work of a lifetime: a tool to be contemplated in meditation, a set of energies to be run through the body, an anchor to one's iron blood and the iron core of the earth herself. Learning to distinguish between the pure Iron Will of Pride, for example, and differentiate that quality from shame or arrogance requires ruthless self-examination and vital courage. It is not undertaken lightly. Those who wish to undertake this work might seek out a local Reclaiming or Feri teacher; both traditions teach Iron Pentacle as a core class. In areas where such classes aren't available, I recommend T. Thorn Coyle's excellent Evolutionary Witchcraft.
Power Exchange Pentacles
Seeking a way to integrate my BDSM work with my magickal practice, I created the Power Exchange Pentacles as a working tool. These pentacles stack on top of and beneath the Iron Pentacle to initiate and anchor a shift from ordinary consciousness into 'topspace' or 'bottomspace' for BDSM play. Because of the way topspace and bottomspace play off one another in scene, one danger of scening is that we become reactive rather than fully embodying action and choice within our roles. (This danger might seem more intuitive for the bottom, but in fact is true in either role.) These pentacles keep us in the realm of action rather than reaction. They anchor both topspace and bottomspace as a conscious choice, fully connected with our Will and our Iron birthrights, allowing for deeper and more intentional travel into the altered spaces of scene play.
The Topping Pentacle
Circumference, Domination, Guardianship, Control, Compassion
Start by grounding, aligning and centering. If there is anything obstructing your energy, or which may cause you to confuse your priest/essing role with actual domination or control, use a purification rite to release those blocks.
Ground a cord to the center of the earth, and on a breath pull up the molten energy from the earth's core to the center of your head, the point of Sex. Run the Iron Pentacle through your body, feeling the hot, red iron energy energize the points of Sex, Pride, Self, Power and Passion. Run the Iron Pentacle across your body until you feel completely filled with and grounded in these energies, and then run once more around the body to seal the pentacle: From Sex to Self, to Passion, to Pride, to Power.
At the head, feel the spirit of Sex shift into Circumference. Running to the right leg, feel Pride shift to the role of Domination. Running the energy up to the left arm, feel Self shift into Guardianship. Running the energy across to the right arm, feel Power shift to Control. Running the energy down to the left leg, feel Passion shift to Compassion.
Continue run the energy across the body. As you do, feel the Iron energy begin to cool slightly. From the molten Iron which connects you to the earth, allow these energies to transform, through your cool-headedness, into an iron cauldron in which you can contain the energies of BDSM work. Feel your ability to hold the circumference and spirit of the work, your pride in holding a hot role that will please your bottom, your expansive ability to guard your partner's safe journeys to the edges of their Self, your ability to competently control and ground the energies of the scene, and your deep compassion for the emotional changes that this work brings.
Circumference, Domination, Guardianship, Control, Compassion. Run the pentacle across your body until you feel the cool power of the compassionate and competent top, fully grounded in the connection of your iron cauldron to the life force in the heart of the earth. When you are ready, run the pentacle once more around your body, as God Herself would draw it onto you: Circumference, Guardianship, Compassion, Domination, Control. Anchor those energies into your body, knowing that you can reconnect with these points as needed to facilitate your scene.
The Bottoming Pentacle
Center, Submission, Edgewalking, Release, Trust
Start by grounding, aligning and centering. If there is anything at all which obstructs your energy, or which may might cause you to confuse your choice to submit with true subordination, use a purification rite to release those blocks and to honor your power.
Check in with yourself. Are you starting from a place of power and in alignment with your Will? If you cannot answer both questions with "yes," this is probably not the time to scene. Remember: you cannot exchange power you do not have.
Ground a cord to the center of the earth, and on a breath pull up the molten energy from the earth's core to the center of your head, the point of Sex. Run the Iron Pentacle through your body, feeling the hot, red iron energy energize the points of Sex, Pride, Self, Power and Passion. Run the IP across your body until filled with and grounded in these energies, and then run once more around the body to seal the pentacle.
In your head, feel the spirit of Sex shift into Center. Running to the right leg, feel Pride shift to the role of Submission. Running the energy up to the left arm, feel Self shift into Edgewalking. Running the energy across to the right arm, feel Power allow for Release. Running the energy down to the left leg, feel Passion build Trust.
Continue to run the energy across the body. As you do so, allow the Iron energy to remain molten and flow freely. Feel your sex energy at the center remain fluid, allowing you to flexibly and move with the spirit of the play to come. Move through your sex energy deeply into the edgespace at your center, the center of sacred work and sacred play. Step into a submissive role that is rooted in the heat of your pride: your ability to submit without shame to pleasure. Step into the airy and spacious edges of self. Empower yourself to release your agency for the duration of the scene. Passionately open to the deep waters of trust for your partner and the intensity of your desire.
Center, Submission, Edgewalking, Release, Trust. Run the pentacle across your body until you feel the liquid force of a fully empowered and willing bottom, fully grounded in the connection of your molten iron energy with the life force in the heart of the earth. When you are ready, run the pentacle once more around your body, as God Herself would draw it onto you: Center, Edgewalking, Trust, Submission, Release. Anchor those energies into your body, knowing that you can reconnect with these points as needed to relax fully into your scene.
Using the Pentacles
I most often use the Topping or Bottoming Pentacle as a solo practice to prepare myself not only for going into scene, but also for gaining clarity before going into kink-focused social events. I am a 'switch' (taking on a topping or bottoming role situationally, rather than preferring one or the other as an ongoing role), but started out bottoming. When I was first topping, I found the Topping pentacle very useful in solidifying an active priestessing role that was less intuitive for me.
Two or more partners can also run the pentacles simultaneously as a part of creating sacred space for a scene, starting by running iron together, then shifting into the respective pentacles to create the container for the work.
BDSM can lead to intense altered states. After the scene is completely finished, it's a good idea to fully release the topping and bottoming roles. Running the Iron Pentacle in tandem with your partner or alone is a good way to come fully back to 'normal' consciousnes after this work.
Sex: Circumference: Center
Sex is our connection to life force, which allows us to embody spirit through Ecstasy. In sexual exchanges without power play, the sex force might feel deeply connective: merging, entwining, becoming closer. In power exchange, connective life force also runs deeply, but it does so within a container created by difference and distinction, tension and differentiation. The top distances energetically from the bottom, and in so doing intensifies the arc of desire: the distance between lover and beloved opens up a space for longing.
The energetic connection between top and bottom is that of circumference to center, which opens to the mystery: these are in fact the same space after all.
Pride: Domination: Submission
The points of domination and submission are located at the position of pride. BDSM treats these positions as chosen roles for a type of ritual theater, not static positions. Many BDSM practitioners will tell you that the true power in a scene lies with the submissive, who chooses the parameters of the scene, and holds a 'safe word' to stop or pause the scene should it cross their boundaries, stated or unstated.
Feri tradition cautions witches not to submit their life force to any person or thing. It's important to note that submission in BDSM is not a giving over of the life force but rather a conscious choice made to explore polarity play, typically for a limited duration. Submission in scene is a deliberate role taken on, in alliance with the dominating priest/ess, to harness and contain life force. Domination is a role to embody the submissive's fantasies and desires. As with any ritual theater role, the roles of dominant and submissive are best aspected from a starting position of pride.
Self: Guardianship: Edgewalking
The energies of power exchange play -- like all magick -- can be deeply transformative. Cultivating a strong sense of Self allows tops and bottoms to step clearly and fully into those roles -- and back out of them.
In play, the bottom is able to explore edges. It is the edge that is impacted by sensation play, where the top and his or her tools come up against the boundary of the skin. D/s play may work the psychological edges, exploring taboos that might be unacceptable to the everyday self. Particularly for bottoms, BDSM creates an opening for altering consciousness at will and exploring both inner space and other realms.
The responsible top functions as a guardian, allowing the bottom to safely navigate these other realms, watching that the bottom is able to safely explore their edges without in fact transgressing the boundaries needed to keep play safe.
Power: Control: Release
In order to exchange power, we must first have power to exchange. I cannot exchange power with you if I don't have any. BDSM is best suited to those who have a strong sense of their own power, and who are able to remain fully grounded.
One priestess has told me that she doesn't care for the term "power-exchange," because power is not truly exchanged through this work if done well, but is increased for both partners. Perhaps another way of looking at this point is agency exchange. The bottom consciously releases agency within a negotiated set of parameters that they would presumably not agree to out of scene. Stated or unstated, the bottom has asked to cede their power for the duration of play: "I will allow you to tie me up," or "Please spank me with a wooden paddle," or "Please order me to serve you." Within those parameters, the top controls the direction of the scene. On the meta-level, the bottom retains several measures of true agency: by participating in pre-negotiating the scene, and by holding 'safe words' that will allow them to stop or pause the scene if needed. Within the container of the scene, the bottom has the freedom to release their agency, knowing that their top will competently exercise control.
Passion: Compassion: Trust
BDSM can be 'technical', but it remains rooted in passion and desire. This play can open deep emotions and vulnerabilities for both partners.
Tops work best with compassion. As a top, I may be wielding a whippy cane or saying 'mean' things, but I can only do so safely with a profound respect for the bottom who is playing with me and who takes these blows. Topping without compassion risks crossing over in to abuse.
Compassion does not begin and end with a scene. When negotiating for a scene, it is important to hear what your partner does -- and does not -- want with compassion for both desire and its limits. It is not acceptable to denigrate another's wishes, especially in the vulnerable space of negotiation and scene. If as a top I cannot accommodate your desires, I need to speak to this compassionately. "How on earth can you be into that?" would be devastating to the bottom who has just confessed a taboo desire to me in trust. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can meet your needs for that. How about . . . ?" respects both the top's own desires and the integrity of a bottom's passion and trust. Even more importantly, a top must always respect limits and safewords. Boundaries are sacrosanct; a compassionate top does not violate them nor push.
A bottom needs to trust first their own instincts and then the top with whom they are playing. Trust in self always comes first. As a bottom, it is essential for me to listen to my fetch, that part of me that holds both my animal desire and my bodily knowing. There is a difference between fun and exhilarating fear, and actual concern. I have the obligation to myself to not play any top that will not honor my concerns or limits. If I run into a major concern mid-scene, I need to have the trust in myself and my top to use my safewords. Only after I fully trust myself can I begin to trust any top. Presumably, if I am playing with a top, I already have built some trust. Within scene, I should be willing to give that top a certain amount of agency and energetic support. And, if I have feedback, I should also give that with some compassion. (Tops are vulnerable, too!)
Conclusions
BDSM contains deep tools for healing, personal transformation, and ecstatic magick. BDSM can be used with intention to fully explore our full capacity as sexual human beings, and to know ourselves in all of our parts -- including parts that in everyday life are considered taboo or forbidden. Using our magickal tools -- alignment, purification, pentacle work -- reaffirms the sacred nature of this work.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
The art of bottoming
I realized this morning that even in what I've written here before, there's a real and probably inevitable bias.
Well, several biases.
I tend to write about rope, because that's what I love. Yes, I'm a sucker for a well thrown singletail, but that's not what I do. And I love me some well made canes, and use them with gusto, but canes aren't my little obsession right now, which brings me back to rope.
And of course I write from my own magickal perspective. There are a number of ways to integrate magick and BDSM, and they're not all the same. I write from the perspective of my own magickal biases.
But what I really meant to call out as my bias is that I tend to write as a top. I'm not just a top, but that's the side of me I act from in most of my public play, and hence that's the perspective I'm more likely to write from.
And yet, that leaves more out than I sometimes realize.
I linked earlier this week to a post from Graydancer that really excited me, about rope as a creative art. In the post, and my recap of it, the emphasis is on the artistry and creativity of being a rope top.
But what about bottoming? Is that just a passive art?
I'm going to come down firmly on the side of 'no.' Absolutely not. At least, not necessarily.
I'm working on a longer post right now about yoga for rope bottoms, which I'll post here when it's done. But the theory behind it is this: rope bottoming is a skill, one that can be developed and enhanced through attention and study just like rigging. Some rope bottoming can definitely be passive, and I want to say (again with correcting my biases) that's absolutely okay. Some folks want to be absolutely helpless in the ropes and God knows I love to tie them.
But there's also a path of rope bottoming that is far more active. Some bottoms talk about dancing in the ropes. Some do yoga poses while suspended. Some work very actively on their agility, their patience, their flexibility, to increase the beauty of themselves inside the rope. For those bottoms, being tied is anything but passive. It's an active engagement, a dance, a yoga asana, a kata. It's art.
In ropes or any other endeavor, bottoms walk the edges and bring back the essence of life force and magick. That is an art every bit as essential as topping, and let no top say otherwise. (At least, not around me.)
Well, several biases.
I tend to write about rope, because that's what I love. Yes, I'm a sucker for a well thrown singletail, but that's not what I do. And I love me some well made canes, and use them with gusto, but canes aren't my little obsession right now, which brings me back to rope.
And of course I write from my own magickal perspective. There are a number of ways to integrate magick and BDSM, and they're not all the same. I write from the perspective of my own magickal biases.
But what I really meant to call out as my bias is that I tend to write as a top. I'm not just a top, but that's the side of me I act from in most of my public play, and hence that's the perspective I'm more likely to write from.
And yet, that leaves more out than I sometimes realize.
I linked earlier this week to a post from Graydancer that really excited me, about rope as a creative art. In the post, and my recap of it, the emphasis is on the artistry and creativity of being a rope top.
But what about bottoming? Is that just a passive art?
I'm going to come down firmly on the side of 'no.' Absolutely not. At least, not necessarily.
I'm working on a longer post right now about yoga for rope bottoms, which I'll post here when it's done. But the theory behind it is this: rope bottoming is a skill, one that can be developed and enhanced through attention and study just like rigging. Some rope bottoming can definitely be passive, and I want to say (again with correcting my biases) that's absolutely okay. Some folks want to be absolutely helpless in the ropes and God knows I love to tie them.
But there's also a path of rope bottoming that is far more active. Some bottoms talk about dancing in the ropes. Some do yoga poses while suspended. Some work very actively on their agility, their patience, their flexibility, to increase the beauty of themselves inside the rope. For those bottoms, being tied is anything but passive. It's an active engagement, a dance, a yoga asana, a kata. It's art.
In ropes or any other endeavor, bottoms walk the edges and bring back the essence of life force and magick. That is an art every bit as essential as topping, and let no top say otherwise. (At least, not around me.)
Friday, November 24, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Giving Thanks
Today, there is a lot to be thankful for.
I'm thankful to live in a place and age in which I can be mostly open about my life as a queer woman. It's not everything; it's not perfect. GLBT people still face serious obstacles even in the Western world, not to mention beyond. But I am profoundly thankful for the courage of my queer ancestors: the ones who rioted at Stonewall, the ones who fought in ACT-UP, the ones still fighting for our rights. In a few short decades, we've gone from being arrested for simply meeting in nightclubs to openly fighting for gay marriage rights. US sodomy laws have come off the books. It is easier now to be who I am than at any time in recent history. I'm thankful for that.
I'm thankful to live in a place and age where leather and bdsm and rope communities exist. I'm thankful for the Society of Janus, and their leather ancestors.
I'm thankful for power exchange communities, for bdsm conferences, for the resources available even in the hinterlands by book. I'm thankful for teachers and explorers. I'm thankful for Shibaricon, for Rope Dojo, for ARS. I'm thankful for leather pride, and Folsom Street Fair. I'm thankful to live in a world in which these types of education are available almost openly.
I'm thankful that the path continues; in twenty more years, I will be stunned at how much more we've accomplished.
I'm thankful to live in a place and age in which I can be mostly open about my life as a queer woman. It's not everything; it's not perfect. GLBT people still face serious obstacles even in the Western world, not to mention beyond. But I am profoundly thankful for the courage of my queer ancestors: the ones who rioted at Stonewall, the ones who fought in ACT-UP, the ones still fighting for our rights. In a few short decades, we've gone from being arrested for simply meeting in nightclubs to openly fighting for gay marriage rights. US sodomy laws have come off the books. It is easier now to be who I am than at any time in recent history. I'm thankful for that.
I'm thankful to live in a place and age where leather and bdsm and rope communities exist. I'm thankful for the Society of Janus, and their leather ancestors.
I'm thankful for power exchange communities, for bdsm conferences, for the resources available even in the hinterlands by book. I'm thankful for teachers and explorers. I'm thankful for Shibaricon, for Rope Dojo, for ARS. I'm thankful for leather pride, and Folsom Street Fair. I'm thankful to live in a world in which these types of education are available almost openly.
I'm thankful that the path continues; in twenty more years, I will be stunned at how much more we've accomplished.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Rope, and Imagination
Graydancer nails it with one of those "Yes! Yes! That's it exactly!" posts.
Yes. That's it. The beauty and terror of rope is that it engages my creative self, my sense of beauty, my desire toward the arts. It's not just an encounter with my play partner; it's an encounter with the spark of creativity in myself. That's why of the million and one ways I might top, this is the one that gets me hot every time, without fail.
I used to say I wasn't an artist. I don't say that any more.
I'm not willing to say with Graydancer that rope is somehow special in this regard, although it obviously is for me. Others paint their brushstrokes with canes, or wield so precise a single-tail they can work a bottom's face. If that's not also art, I don't know what is.
Yes. That's it. The beauty and terror of rope is that it engages my creative self, my sense of beauty, my desire toward the arts. It's not just an encounter with my play partner; it's an encounter with the spark of creativity in myself. That's why of the million and one ways I might top, this is the one that gets me hot every time, without fail.
I used to say I wasn't an artist. I don't say that any more.
I'm not willing to say with Graydancer that rope is somehow special in this regard, although it obviously is for me. Others paint their brushstrokes with canes, or wield so precise a single-tail they can work a bottom's face. If that's not also art, I don't know what is.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
The rule of three
Aha! I've found new hope for my handprocessed rope!
The lovely folks at Erotic Hemp detail their 7-stage rope processing in a FAQ on their web site. (Frankly such transparency is unlikely to lose them business. It takes a stubborn rigger to process rope on one's own - trust me!)
Their stages are different than the stages I picked up from Bridgett Harrington and detailed in an earlier post. But I think the real difference is that they go through their full seven stages three times. Aha! Yes, I can see how that might get me there. I'd already been pondering doing a 2d pass on my handmade ropes to further refine them; it's nice to know that may just be part of the process.
The lovely folks at Erotic Hemp detail their 7-stage rope processing in a FAQ on their web site. (Frankly such transparency is unlikely to lose them business. It takes a stubborn rigger to process rope on one's own - trust me!)
Their stages are different than the stages I picked up from Bridgett Harrington and detailed in an earlier post. But I think the real difference is that they go through their full seven stages three times. Aha! Yes, I can see how that might get me there. I'd already been pondering doing a 2d pass on my handmade ropes to further refine them; it's nice to know that may just be part of the process.
Monday, November 20, 2006
QoTW
I often find myself in the position of explaining to people that I love exactly what it is that we do in the kink world, and why I might want to do it. Even in the pagan community, speaking of shamanic journeys and deliberate power exchange doesn't always get my point across. (I'd venture a guess it's even harder to communicate to those who don't value changing consciousness at will.)
Imagine my delight, then, at finding this quote from Jay Wiseman:
And, of course, being Jay he offers supporting evidence. In a numbered and probably prioritized list.
(For those questioning whether or not their relationships are really about consent, Jay also offers a few red flags that are completely on the money.)
Imagine my delight, then, at finding this quote from Jay Wiseman:
SM play differs from abuse in many of the same ways that a judo match differs from a mugging.
And, of course, being Jay he offers supporting evidence. In a numbered and probably prioritized list.
(For those questioning whether or not their relationships are really about consent, Jay also offers a few red flags that are completely on the money.)
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Hesitancy, Boldness and Commitment
Those of us who cross both [the pagan and the kink] communities are in an especially fortunate place to begin this work. We know who we are; we're the ones that people approach timidly when they need to do a ritual to commemorate X, or to help them face Y. Perhaps we discuss it with them, and come up with a framework, and then they have to go away for a year or more and think about it before they can work themselves up to actually doing something about it. That's all right. It's what we're there for.
-- Raven Kaldera
Dark Moon Rising: Pagan BDSM and the Ordeal Path
My mythic ancestors did things the hard way: broke their hips wrestling with angels in the long night, walked forty years in the desert to cross a relatively short distance, created a glyph in which the point of connection is immediately followed by a long slog across the Abyss.
I reckon sometimes this might explain my internal wrestling. Each step of my work takes as long as it needs to take: working a triad of the Tree of Life, or stepping into priestessing my first public trance, or working through the steps of my personal initiation. Each runs deep for me. And long - years, for most of these. And as obvious as it seems after attaining each new level that I just had to "want it enough", the fact is that desiring each attainment as fiercely as possible in the moment didn't really help me work toward my goals any faster until I had also done the waiting and the work. The fear and the ambivalence were all part of the process, too.
It's the same in the scene.
Well, at least for me it is. I watch some of the younger members of the BDSM scene with awe. Five, ten, fifteen years younger than I am, sometimes they seem fearless going from one new experience to another with blinding speed and ferocity. It's inspiring.
They seem fearless. Perhaps they are, but I don't think that's it. I suspect it's that they commit to new experiences, and keep showing up.
Tops used to seem fearless to me. Priestesses, too. When I was a baby bottom, it sometimes seemed like those Tops had everything completely figured out, and were simply born fearless. A few of the members of the local BDSM club sometimes came to our local pagan salon, and to a one they terrified me. They sometimes invited us to come to meetings, munches, parties. This was twelve years ago, when I was still working desperately to overcome a sex abuse history and using meta-programming techniques to become more "sex positive". Ummm, thanks for the invite, but . . .
It took a few years before I moved beyond a bit of spanking and bondage to take part in more intentional BDSM scenes, still longer before I was able to clearly articulate my desires. I had been playing privately for several years before I began attending my first munches, meetings and classes, and another year still before I began attending public parties and SIGs.
Now that I know a bit more about the scene, I no longer see Tops as fearless. Or priestesses, for that matter. I know what it is to stand in the center of circle, surrounded by eighty witches, and to manage to get my lines straight. I know what it is to have something go wrong in circle and figure it out anyway so the magick comes off. I realize that Tops and priestesses both have fears. They simply have better techniques than most for encountering, naming, and working with those fears in partnership. (And if they don't - watch out! This is not a person you want to be in scene or circle with!)
Those fears don't go away, per se. But perhaps the fears become allies and partners. The fears show us where the power is.
And when that happens, we can begin to dance with the fears intentionally, leading them toward transformation rather than being led.
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.
attributed to Goethe
In a priestessing class, one of my teachers did something very clever. He asked, "Who in this class has never drummed for circle?" And when several of us stepped forward to say we hadn't, he said. "Great! You're our drum core for the ritual starting in ten minutes!" And there we were. We had all of 15 seconds to stare at one another wide-eyed with fear before we had to get right toward planning what we'd do, while the teacher found other priestesses to push past their comfort zones. I've made a point since then of looking at ritual planning with that eye: finding the place that I'm least comfortable and taking that role, intentionally. Not taking on something I can't do -- that would be irresponsible. But taking on something I am capable of doing, but haven't pushed myself toward doing yet.
I've done the same thing with the scene. Almost every threshold I've crossed has been because I've taken a risk. The first time I was caned, my then girlfriend negotiated the scene with a Top friend of ours. The Top said, "Now you have to get her to say 'yes'." I'd been paying only half attention. I said yes and then asked, "What did I just say yes to again?" Being responsible, I think the Top would have happily let me back out at this point; informed consent is still the name of the game. But pride wouldn't let me back out, which was just what she was counting on. I do the same thing with myself as a Top. "Hmmm? Oh, yes, sure I'd love to tie you up for the party next week!" And then I'm committed. Key up two weeks of planning for a lovely scene. And I follow through.
The key, then, is committing. Signing up for the ritual. Winning the tickets for Shibaricon at auction. Beginning the class. Finding that place at the edge of my comfort level and going toward it actively rather than shying away. Those places of committment are where the power lies.
Wrestle, if you need to. I still believe the wrestling and the waiting are part of the process. Being ready is critical. But in those opening moments of readiness, begin it now. We are not fearless, but we may choose to be bold.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Knots and the Knotty Knaves who Taught Them
A common meme of Japanese-style rope play is that you really don't need to know many knots. In the FAQ for her Rope Dojo, Midori writes that in order to learn her work, you just need to be able to tie your shoelaces.
It's true. Most of my work so far -- from the down and dirty rope gag to the most elaborate corset -- has involved exactly two knots: a larkshead (or Cow's Hitch), and an overhand knot to attach more rope by using (you guessed it) a lark's head. There are a few other hitches that I use to keep the rope from tightening, but nothing too fancy.
But what if you are interested in more elaborate ties, or want to learn Western-style rope bondage (with its emphasis on single-strand ties)? Well, that's where Jack at Kinky Ropes come in. In his tutorial section you'll find a variety of easy-to-follow steps to tie a variety of western-style cuffs and harnesses, as well as Japanese forms like the karada. Pagan types should especially check out the Bio page for a lovely, lovely pentacle tie.
Not interested in the fancy ties? Be not intimidated! Remember, if you can tie your shoes . . .
It's true. Most of my work so far -- from the down and dirty rope gag to the most elaborate corset -- has involved exactly two knots: a larkshead (or Cow's Hitch), and an overhand knot to attach more rope by using (you guessed it) a lark's head. There are a few other hitches that I use to keep the rope from tightening, but nothing too fancy.
But what if you are interested in more elaborate ties, or want to learn Western-style rope bondage (with its emphasis on single-strand ties)? Well, that's where Jack at Kinky Ropes come in. In his tutorial section you'll find a variety of easy-to-follow steps to tie a variety of western-style cuffs and harnesses, as well as Japanese forms like the karada. Pagan types should especially check out the Bio page for a lovely, lovely pentacle tie.
Not interested in the fancy ties? Be not intimidated! Remember, if you can tie your shoes . . .
Friday, November 17, 2006
Elements of Rope Processing
So, I've finally gotten through all of the stages to hand process my first batch of hemp rope, with imperfect but mostly satisfying results. It's definitely not the lovely treated stuff I get from Twisted Monk or Erotic Hemp. Perhaps with time my own work will get there - or possibly not. But as a magickal person, I'm intrigued by the idea of making and consecrating my own tools, and that enough is worth further exploration.
For those who don't know, raw hemp rope like you might find at a marine supply or good hardware store (or, in my case, hippie Eco-friendly department store) is not something you want to put on human bodies, probably not even if they're serious masochists. The stuff is scratchy in a bad way, full of stems and other things you don't want on your bottoms' bottoms. I find it very itchy to the skin. The weave may also not be terribly even. And so, you need to process it to make it worth playing with.
The steps are simple, if a bit tedious. Here's what I did, based on reading Bridgett Harrington's very informative Shibari You Can Use, talking with local riggers, and adding a bit of magickal tech.
Pre-step 1: If you have such luxuries, pass these instructions on to a service submissive and have them make the ropes you'll be tying on them. Sadly, I skipped this step . . .
1. Cut the rope into the lengths you want, and finish the ends to prevent unravelling. You can finish the ends by whipping them (basically, sewing a fancy knot onto them with thread, which you can learn in your favorite knot book), or using an overhand knot or wall knot. I happen to like overhand knots at the ends of my ropes for holding larkshead additions to the ends, so I cut my rope into three 30-foot lengths and finished them with overhand knots.
The blade is an element of discernment, distinction making, and (in this working) air. In cutting, consider: what does it mean to take measure? As you tie: What loose ends do you gather? To what end?
2. Find the midway point of the rope, and bight it so that you have two strands side by side. At the end of both, begin to loosely hand-crochet the rope until you have a manageable hand-crocheted bundle. Repeat with other ropes.
3. Set the biggest stockpot you have to boil with water. Put in your ropes. Pretend they are spaghetti -- really nauseating smelling spaghetti. Set them to boil for an hour, stirring occasionally. Warning: this will make your house smell like bongwater. This step helps to boil out some of the loose bits, and to even up the weave.
Purification is traditionally done with water. As you set the pot to boil, what is your intention for this purification? As you pour out the (by now nauseating smelling) water, what do you release?
4. Uncrochet the ropes and hang them up to dry somewhere for 1-2 days, very loosely coiled. I recommend not drying these in the sun, as sunlight can be damaging to fibers, but probably drying them outside for just a day or two isn't enough to cause damage.
5. When you are ready to consecrate the rope, get a tealight or other safe small candle, and set up a place you can safely work without setting your house on fire should something go wrong. I used a small table in my temple for this, but an uncarpeted space would have been safer. Following Bridgett Harrington's advise, I put on good music - in this case Nurse With Wound's Rock and Roll Station, which I've long used for magickal and scene work.
Run the rope slowly, but not too slowly, through the fire, singing off any loose and scratchy fibers. Slowly turn the rope as you go to ensure that you are burnishing all of the rope evenly. Feel the rope as you go: I worked about a foot at a time, and then used my hands to smooth the rope down, putting out any little embers in the process and feeling if the rope needed to go back through again for more burnishing.
Fire is used to burnish, to consecrate, to dedicate. This step feels on a visceral level like a transformation. I passed the rope from left (if you're a qabalist: severity) to right (mildness) and could feel the stiff rope from the left not only lose its scratchy fibers passing to the right, but also loosen considerably. The very stiff scratchy coils to the left became very supple coils of softer rope on the right. At this stage, as questions of transformation: What am I transforming in this process? How can I use this rope as a tool of transformation, to create forms that could not otherwise occur?
I feel like this stage will see the most improvement as I do more rope processing. My first batch turned sooty in spots, and today smells of camp fire.
6. Check the rope again by running it through your hands. Any scratchy bits? Re-burnish as needed.
7. Because my rope was sooty in spots, I added a step. First, I washed my (also sooty) hands thoroughly to cleanse them magickally and physically. Then I took a white cloth, and ran the ropes through it a couple of times to remove as much soot as possible before oiling them. As I did, I tried to run the rope through in a way that would also work with the weave of the rope.
8. At this stage, the rope should be fairly even and no longer actively scratchy, but it's probably very dry. Take some oil -- I use hemp oil from the health food store, others use mink oil -- and use a cloth or your hands to rub some bit into the ropes to keep them flexible and supple.
The oil has been a source of much debate! My coven brother wants to assign it to air, and Crowley assigns his holy oil to fire. After sitting with this a couple of days, I still want to assign the oil to earth. This is the final step, the grounding, setting the firm foundation for the work. This is making the rope ready to meet the corporeal body. And so, I say that oiling is a dedication of earth. As you oil, ask yourself questions of manifestation: What will be the use of this rope? How can I remain grounded in my practice? How can I bring delight into being with this new tool?
9. If you ever need to wash or decontaminate ropes - which should hopefully be rare - you can repeat the boiling and oiling, or throw them in a pillowcase in the washing machine and reoil them. You don't typically need to wash ropes between play sessions - human oils will just make the rope softer over time. And, Jay Wiseman (who really knows his medical stuff as well as rope stuff) says that any other fluids' potential as a carrier would be lost with a couple of day's drying.
That said, I tend to wash my ropes if they come in contact with saliva or other fluids. If on some happy day they come in contact with someone's blood (consensually, of course) I'll happily gift that bottom with his or her own rope afterward. But for most play, I don't wash the ropes - it will just break them down faster, and work against the natural conditioning process.
And there you have it: the four elements of processing rope. Now, there is only to play at the center - enjoy!
For those who don't know, raw hemp rope like you might find at a marine supply or good hardware store (or, in my case, hippie Eco-friendly department store) is not something you want to put on human bodies, probably not even if they're serious masochists. The stuff is scratchy in a bad way, full of stems and other things you don't want on your bottoms' bottoms. I find it very itchy to the skin. The weave may also not be terribly even. And so, you need to process it to make it worth playing with.
The steps are simple, if a bit tedious. Here's what I did, based on reading Bridgett Harrington's very informative Shibari You Can Use, talking with local riggers, and adding a bit of magickal tech.
Pre-step 1: If you have such luxuries, pass these instructions on to a service submissive and have them make the ropes you'll be tying on them. Sadly, I skipped this step . . .
1. Cut the rope into the lengths you want, and finish the ends to prevent unravelling. You can finish the ends by whipping them (basically, sewing a fancy knot onto them with thread, which you can learn in your favorite knot book), or using an overhand knot or wall knot. I happen to like overhand knots at the ends of my ropes for holding larkshead additions to the ends, so I cut my rope into three 30-foot lengths and finished them with overhand knots.
The blade is an element of discernment, distinction making, and (in this working) air. In cutting, consider: what does it mean to take measure? As you tie: What loose ends do you gather? To what end?
2. Find the midway point of the rope, and bight it so that you have two strands side by side. At the end of both, begin to loosely hand-crochet the rope until you have a manageable hand-crocheted bundle. Repeat with other ropes.
3. Set the biggest stockpot you have to boil with water. Put in your ropes. Pretend they are spaghetti -- really nauseating smelling spaghetti. Set them to boil for an hour, stirring occasionally. Warning: this will make your house smell like bongwater. This step helps to boil out some of the loose bits, and to even up the weave.
Purification is traditionally done with water. As you set the pot to boil, what is your intention for this purification? As you pour out the (by now nauseating smelling) water, what do you release?
4. Uncrochet the ropes and hang them up to dry somewhere for 1-2 days, very loosely coiled. I recommend not drying these in the sun, as sunlight can be damaging to fibers, but probably drying them outside for just a day or two isn't enough to cause damage.
5. When you are ready to consecrate the rope, get a tealight or other safe small candle, and set up a place you can safely work without setting your house on fire should something go wrong. I used a small table in my temple for this, but an uncarpeted space would have been safer. Following Bridgett Harrington's advise, I put on good music - in this case Nurse With Wound's Rock and Roll Station, which I've long used for magickal and scene work.
Run the rope slowly, but not too slowly, through the fire, singing off any loose and scratchy fibers. Slowly turn the rope as you go to ensure that you are burnishing all of the rope evenly. Feel the rope as you go: I worked about a foot at a time, and then used my hands to smooth the rope down, putting out any little embers in the process and feeling if the rope needed to go back through again for more burnishing.
Fire is used to burnish, to consecrate, to dedicate. This step feels on a visceral level like a transformation. I passed the rope from left (if you're a qabalist: severity) to right (mildness) and could feel the stiff rope from the left not only lose its scratchy fibers passing to the right, but also loosen considerably. The very stiff scratchy coils to the left became very supple coils of softer rope on the right. At this stage, as questions of transformation: What am I transforming in this process? How can I use this rope as a tool of transformation, to create forms that could not otherwise occur?
I feel like this stage will see the most improvement as I do more rope processing. My first batch turned sooty in spots, and today smells of camp fire.
6. Check the rope again by running it through your hands. Any scratchy bits? Re-burnish as needed.
7. Because my rope was sooty in spots, I added a step. First, I washed my (also sooty) hands thoroughly to cleanse them magickally and physically. Then I took a white cloth, and ran the ropes through it a couple of times to remove as much soot as possible before oiling them. As I did, I tried to run the rope through in a way that would also work with the weave of the rope.
8. At this stage, the rope should be fairly even and no longer actively scratchy, but it's probably very dry. Take some oil -- I use hemp oil from the health food store, others use mink oil -- and use a cloth or your hands to rub some bit into the ropes to keep them flexible and supple.
The oil has been a source of much debate! My coven brother wants to assign it to air, and Crowley assigns his holy oil to fire. After sitting with this a couple of days, I still want to assign the oil to earth. This is the final step, the grounding, setting the firm foundation for the work. This is making the rope ready to meet the corporeal body. And so, I say that oiling is a dedication of earth. As you oil, ask yourself questions of manifestation: What will be the use of this rope? How can I remain grounded in my practice? How can I bring delight into being with this new tool?
9. If you ever need to wash or decontaminate ropes - which should hopefully be rare - you can repeat the boiling and oiling, or throw them in a pillowcase in the washing machine and reoil them. You don't typically need to wash ropes between play sessions - human oils will just make the rope softer over time. And, Jay Wiseman (who really knows his medical stuff as well as rope stuff) says that any other fluids' potential as a carrier would be lost with a couple of day's drying.
That said, I tend to wash my ropes if they come in contact with saliva or other fluids. If on some happy day they come in contact with someone's blood (consensually, of course) I'll happily gift that bottom with his or her own rope afterward. But for most play, I don't wash the ropes - it will just break them down faster, and work against the natural conditioning process.
And there you have it: the four elements of processing rope. Now, there is only to play at the center - enjoy!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
GloRoMo
Sick of all those NaNoWriMo posts on your friends lists? Looking for something a bit more knotty?
Greydancer presents an alternative: GloRoMo.
Think NaNoWriMo. But instead of 50,000 words written by one person, it's a whole community coming together in a goal to tie 50,000 ft. of rope and share the results. Mmmmm.
Greydancer presents an alternative: GloRoMo.
Think NaNoWriMo. But instead of 50,000 words written by one person, it's a whole community coming together in a goal to tie 50,000 ft. of rope and share the results. Mmmmm.
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