There's a book on flogging in my reading bag today, along with the usual assortment of other non-fiction. (I do pity the fool at the coffee shop who innocently asks what I'm reading!)
I don't consider myself good at flogging -- and I don't know that a book is going to help that. I've had a few in-person lessons at flogging, and freaked out in the way I tend to do at any new skill I sort of want to learn but am afraid I'll look bad at -- like dancing, or Pilates. I want to practice it in private until I look a little bit like I know what I'm doing. And, with flogging you really can't.
I like canes. Yes, there is a certain amount of tech to them -- and a fair amount of kinetic learning to use them well without causing damage. But as a rule, they're an easy tool to self-teach. Once I understand the physics of them, the canes will pretty much go where I aim them with little muscle raining required.
Whips and floggers, on the other hand . . . oy. It feels like each of those tails has a mind of its own. I am too close, too far. The tails wrap. And while I am fairly sure I won't do serious damage to anything but my ego if things go wrong, I hate (hate, hate) hurting my bottoms in any but the ways I intend to. And so, this is a skill set I've avoided building.
Of course, the universe pairs me with a girl who's interested in floggers.
That may read like snark. If so, it shouldn't.
The fact is: the places where I have the deepest gaps and insecurities are the places where I need to most grow as a top. Period. Exclamation point. That doesn't mean I need to get good at everything -- I never see myself as having a yen for medical play. But then, I'm not insecure about medical play . . . because I have no interest in it. Flogging? Very much like dancing or Pilates, it holds a strong charge for me -- a taste of the fruit I've forbidden myself.
And of course that's precisely it. Back in the day, my dom didn't have any training in flogging. She didn't have anyone to teach her. She read what she could, practiced on a few pillows, and then had the courage to learn the rest on me. (She also, bless her heart, had no qualms about learning to do our first Shibari experiments with Midori's book open right in front of her like a recipe.)
I explain all this to my girl. Explain that I'm afraid that I may not be very polished at it -- and that my worst fear is that I may wrap the tails and hurt her in a not-pleasant way. Beautiful thing, she assures me this is okay. We can learn together.
And of course that's what the best bottoms do -- motivate us lazy-ass tops to avoid becoming arrogant, asshole doms and instead keep our beginners minds. This is, after all, a co-created process.
And so, the book goes in the bag, and my ego gets put on time out for a while. It's a good thing.
Showing posts with label tools. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tools. Show all posts
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Rope dreams
In my dream last night, I was tying a big guy into a strapedo. One of my bi leather boy friends (and I realize, writing that, I seem to have a lot of those) was holding said man down, a knee shoved into his back, and his hands holding the man's wrists into the strapedo.
I asked the man not much later if he played with rope at all, and excused myself to grab my rope kit (and quickly peek to see if anyone had a "recipe" for a nice strapedo in their book -- I've never tied one yet). I remember wondering if I'd have enough 8mm in my kit to use that, because his arms were so big and muscular. And then I woke up.
This might mean it's time to process the 100 ft of 8mm I have waiting for me, you think?
It probably also means that I'm really disappointed that I'm not making it to Shibaricon after all. I gave my passes to someone I hope will get a lot out of them (and who I hope will write it up for me - we'll see!)
I asked the man not much later if he played with rope at all, and excused myself to grab my rope kit (and quickly peek to see if anyone had a "recipe" for a nice strapedo in their book -- I've never tied one yet). I remember wondering if I'd have enough 8mm in my kit to use that, because his arms were so big and muscular. And then I woke up.
This might mean it's time to process the 100 ft of 8mm I have waiting for me, you think?
It probably also means that I'm really disappointed that I'm not making it to Shibaricon after all. I gave my passes to someone I hope will get a lot out of them (and who I hope will write it up for me - we'll see!)
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Kink permaculture
A friend came up to me excitedly last night. "Oh, Miriam, I have something for you." The something turned out to be several lengths of bamboo that he'd salvaged from an art project, and thought I could turn into canes or whatnot.
I honestly don't know if they'll make good canes, although I'm chasing up some articles on cane making to see. I'm concerned that they're regular bamboo and not specifically rattan. This other site suggests that because bamboo is hollow, it's only a good choice for very light or medium play, and that hard play might split the cane and create instant and razor-sharp edges. Given that I have broken some of the canes on my birch bundles over asses, this might not be a good idea for me . . .
If they won't work for that, I'll probably cut them to lengths for use in rope play. One of my friends and mentors does amazing things with bamboo, creating extra columns, bamboo bit gags, and other toys that look just gorgeous with rope. And I hope to see him today. So perhaps that's the better way to go. We'll see.
So, I don't know what I'll do with it yet, but I love that my friend thought of me. Another friend may gift me with her (rather large) dog crate when her dog outgrows it. Neither of these folks are in the scene, but they're my friends and they're supportive.
Out of the blue yesterday, I got an amazing and touching gift. A friend who demo bottomed for me at the auction last month hand crafted a magickal oil for me to say thanks.
I started this entry to talk about the canes, but the more I write the more I touch on something else. And that's the value of being open.
It's a fine line I walk. I want to be open and honest about my life, and I don't want to squick anyone.
My friend with the puppy cage is an excellent barometer. I think I've erred on the side of TMI in the past, and also wrestled with the temptation to give too little information - so little information that she might not understand the landscape of my life and relationships. Slowly I've learned to give her a broad overview. She can know that I'm negotiating with a service submissive without knowing the details of our contract. She can know what's going on with Pyrate Lass without having to know exactly how we play. And she gets the really good stories, the ones I can tell without too much squickage and play for laughs.
In my magickal community, I really can't talk about my magickal practice without talking about rope. Rope is in part something I am working with as a magickal tool. And so I try to push my edges, and my community's edges, gently. I can show off my rope work making art projects, or helping ease a donated refrigerator down a ramp. And when it was appropriate I did use my chest-tying powers for good at auction, pushing the envelope just enough and I think safely for everyone. But this is part of being seen.
There are places where I really feel no need to be out of the closet. I can't see a benefit of speaking about these things at work, for example. (The tradeoff, of course, is that I don't have close friends from work, either.) But mostly, I need to be seen to make connection. Rope, play and D/s are major parts of my life, and aspects that are pretty important to really knowing me. They're not all of my life -- you get fair amounts of magick and gardening and music geekery, too -- but they're also not just side interests.
And the gifts of that are that you make real friends and real connections. Sometimes those gifts are very tangible. It's Earth Day - reuse, reduce and recycle, and all that. In the garden, I am always taking on things that would otherwise be trash -- newspapers, cardboard, coffee grounds -- and turning them into productive garden beds. These gifts are the same to me, a little kink permaculture. That bamboo, that puppy cage? Both would otherwise have been trash or garage junk to someone. But to me, they are both useful and also signifiers that my practice itself has value in my friends' eyes, and that they recognize kink as important to me in the same sense my gardening is. That's no small thing.
I honestly don't know if they'll make good canes, although I'm chasing up some articles on cane making to see. I'm concerned that they're regular bamboo and not specifically rattan. This other site suggests that because bamboo is hollow, it's only a good choice for very light or medium play, and that hard play might split the cane and create instant and razor-sharp edges. Given that I have broken some of the canes on my birch bundles over asses, this might not be a good idea for me . . .
If they won't work for that, I'll probably cut them to lengths for use in rope play. One of my friends and mentors does amazing things with bamboo, creating extra columns, bamboo bit gags, and other toys that look just gorgeous with rope. And I hope to see him today. So perhaps that's the better way to go. We'll see.
So, I don't know what I'll do with it yet, but I love that my friend thought of me. Another friend may gift me with her (rather large) dog crate when her dog outgrows it. Neither of these folks are in the scene, but they're my friends and they're supportive.
Out of the blue yesterday, I got an amazing and touching gift. A friend who demo bottomed for me at the auction last month hand crafted a magickal oil for me to say thanks.
I started this entry to talk about the canes, but the more I write the more I touch on something else. And that's the value of being open.
It's a fine line I walk. I want to be open and honest about my life, and I don't want to squick anyone.
My friend with the puppy cage is an excellent barometer. I think I've erred on the side of TMI in the past, and also wrestled with the temptation to give too little information - so little information that she might not understand the landscape of my life and relationships. Slowly I've learned to give her a broad overview. She can know that I'm negotiating with a service submissive without knowing the details of our contract. She can know what's going on with Pyrate Lass without having to know exactly how we play. And she gets the really good stories, the ones I can tell without too much squickage and play for laughs.
In my magickal community, I really can't talk about my magickal practice without talking about rope. Rope is in part something I am working with as a magickal tool. And so I try to push my edges, and my community's edges, gently. I can show off my rope work making art projects, or helping ease a donated refrigerator down a ramp. And when it was appropriate I did use my chest-tying powers for good at auction, pushing the envelope just enough and I think safely for everyone. But this is part of being seen.
There are places where I really feel no need to be out of the closet. I can't see a benefit of speaking about these things at work, for example. (The tradeoff, of course, is that I don't have close friends from work, either.) But mostly, I need to be seen to make connection. Rope, play and D/s are major parts of my life, and aspects that are pretty important to really knowing me. They're not all of my life -- you get fair amounts of magick and gardening and music geekery, too -- but they're also not just side interests.
And the gifts of that are that you make real friends and real connections. Sometimes those gifts are very tangible. It's Earth Day - reuse, reduce and recycle, and all that. In the garden, I am always taking on things that would otherwise be trash -- newspapers, cardboard, coffee grounds -- and turning them into productive garden beds. These gifts are the same to me, a little kink permaculture. That bamboo, that puppy cage? Both would otherwise have been trash or garage junk to someone. But to me, they are both useful and also signifiers that my practice itself has value in my friends' eyes, and that they recognize kink as important to me in the same sense my gardening is. That's no small thing.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Clothespins, and the decline of the American grocery
What is it with grocery stores these days?
Granted, I did discover a new all-organic mac n' cheese last night. For which they are partially forgiven. But what is with not having proper clothespins?
You see, I go through clothespins like other folks go through paper towels. They are a basic, replacable staple of the house. I use an awful lot of them for pinning everything from clothing and garden items to skin, nipples, boy bits and labia. I prefer wooden ones: they are comparatively gentle, cheap, and appeal to my eco-consciousness.* And, did I mention cheap? Which is good. Because after a while, I just can't be bothered to keep track of exactly whose labia and boy bits and skin those pins have been on, which means it's time to retire them to the garden or throw them out all together.
Which leads to last night, at which time I was happily navigating the grocery to find only very small packages of little nasty plastic clothespins. Hmph. That will never do.
Thankfully I needed to make a trip to the general store, anyway. They not only have 100-count bags of wooden clothespins, but rope and horse-training implements.
But while I'm at it, what is it with some grocery stores not having latex-free condoms? What if I have a condom emergency, huh?! (You never know when you'll suddenly have a condom emergency!) And glycerine-free lube? And . . .
* Wooden pins don't use petroleum products, and you can compost them if you take out the metal hinge of the pins. Yes, I am that crunchy granola; just don't take my leather away.
Granted, I did discover a new all-organic mac n' cheese last night. For which they are partially forgiven. But what is with not having proper clothespins?
You see, I go through clothespins like other folks go through paper towels. They are a basic, replacable staple of the house. I use an awful lot of them for pinning everything from clothing and garden items to skin, nipples, boy bits and labia. I prefer wooden ones: they are comparatively gentle, cheap, and appeal to my eco-consciousness.* And, did I mention cheap? Which is good. Because after a while, I just can't be bothered to keep track of exactly whose labia and boy bits and skin those pins have been on, which means it's time to retire them to the garden or throw them out all together.
Which leads to last night, at which time I was happily navigating the grocery to find only very small packages of little nasty plastic clothespins. Hmph. That will never do.
Thankfully I needed to make a trip to the general store, anyway. They not only have 100-count bags of wooden clothespins, but rope and horse-training implements.
But while I'm at it, what is it with some grocery stores not having latex-free condoms? What if I have a condom emergency, huh?! (You never know when you'll suddenly have a condom emergency!) And glycerine-free lube? And . . .
* Wooden pins don't use petroleum products, and you can compost them if you take out the metal hinge of the pins. Yes, I am that crunchy granola; just don't take my leather away.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Closing the circle
It's been important to me lately to bring all of my tools to bear in both my communities, which works for me because there is a lot more overlap than what one would think. So much of the basic tech around communication skills, creating a good container for the work, raising energy, grounding, etc. is shared at a pretty deep level by my magickal community and the kink community. And where there's not already overlap, there's a lot of room for potential. (For example, I think a kink community grounded in consent has a lot to learn from consensus.) I have several articles rattling around the back of my head on this, none of which I'll be writing in the limited time I have today.
But sometimes the tools are really quite literal as well. I (co-)priestess a fair number of rituals for the pagan holidays, and have been finding ways to bring my "other" tools out to play -- for example using my rope to create a quick drum harness, or as a cord to hold my athame. Last night, it was casting circle using my new, razor-sharp scene knife. Yes, of course, it was a magickal tool already. But even I was surprised at how much energy it held of it's own as I held it to the ground before casting circle. Forget any purist that would begrudge it its little plastic handle; it did its job well.
Bringing my athame to play was a no-brainer. Bringing my new scene knife to ritual was less intuitive, but I'm very glad I did it. These kinds of shared tools bring me full circle: top to priestess, bottom to mystic, and every point between.
Happy Equinox, y'all.
But sometimes the tools are really quite literal as well. I (co-)priestess a fair number of rituals for the pagan holidays, and have been finding ways to bring my "other" tools out to play -- for example using my rope to create a quick drum harness, or as a cord to hold my athame. Last night, it was casting circle using my new, razor-sharp scene knife. Yes, of course, it was a magickal tool already. But even I was surprised at how much energy it held of it's own as I held it to the ground before casting circle. Forget any purist that would begrudge it its little plastic handle; it did its job well.
Bringing my athame to play was a no-brainer. Bringing my new scene knife to ritual was less intuitive, but I'm very glad I did it. These kinds of shared tools bring me full circle: top to priestess, bottom to mystic, and every point between.
Happy Equinox, y'all.
Monday, March 12, 2007
More practical rigging
At first I was a little embarrassed to see that someone made it to this lil blog from Googling for gardening info. But then I remembered: I'm shameless. And I followed the link back to see how I'd showed up.
And, being shameless, I'll share back with the rest of the class.
Got twine? Got bamboo? Well, then, you can also get thee a fence with very simple traditional Japanese knots. I suspect the basic fence- and trellis- skills on this site could also make very nice, sturdy play racks for the more shameless among us.
And, being shameless, I'll share back with the rest of the class.
Got twine? Got bamboo? Well, then, you can also get thee a fence with very simple traditional Japanese knots. I suspect the basic fence- and trellis- skills on this site could also make very nice, sturdy play racks for the more shameless among us.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Mmmm, outdoors shops . . .
Two carabiners, a figure-eight and a hot little Side Hawg 2 later, I am ready to think that outdoors outfitters are the new kink shops.
The knife especially makes me happy. It's compact, well shaped, and has a lil carabiner that will be perfect to hang off my leather bondage skirt. And they're not kidding about razor sharp. While I don't exactly recommend shaving with one, I've already tried just that, getting used to it.
Oh yeah, I got a new bondage book, too. (Not at the outdoors shop, although wouldn't that be handy?) More on that later.
The knife especially makes me happy. It's compact, well shaped, and has a lil carabiner that will be perfect to hang off my leather bondage skirt. And they're not kidding about razor sharp. While I don't exactly recommend shaving with one, I've already tried just that, getting used to it.
Oh yeah, I got a new bondage book, too. (Not at the outdoors shop, although wouldn't that be handy?) More on that later.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
The spirit of the rope
Being a good pagan, I realized early this week that I should try to build an alliance with my rope as a tool by creating a relationship with the spirit of the rope itself. Yes, those of you who are not pagans may think this is gobbeldygook, but it all felt very profound to me.
For the most part, this has involved lots of using a 15-foot rope to tie myself into a lovely crotch rope with a "happy knot" and masturbating, while focused on increasing my erotic ties to the rope.
Unsurprisingly, it's been a very good week. ;-)
For the most part, this has involved lots of using a 15-foot rope to tie myself into a lovely crotch rope with a "happy knot" and masturbating, while focused on increasing my erotic ties to the rope.
Unsurprisingly, it's been a very good week. ;-)
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
"Wednesday is for washing"
I try not to wash my rope too often. For regular play, I don't. Hemp rope and water don't play well with each other, and over time too much washing will break down rope. When there's no serious need to wash, this isn't worth the trade off.
For other types of play, many reasonable riggers disagree on whether or not to wash. Some do, others don't. Jay Wiseman -- known for his focus on safety, and his fanaticism for medical research related to BDSM -- notes that there are no known cases of any disease being transmitted via rope (Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook, Greenery Press, Emeryville, CA; 2000, p 116), and that any disease would need a moist environment to survive, such that merely drying one's ropes thoroughly after play should suffice (118). That said, he then goes for several pages to talk about disinfection for those who want it.
For me, the question of actual disease transmission is really secondary to the squick factor. I once saw Jay borrow rope from a couple for a demo. The couple were none too happy to have the ropes back after they'd been in a stranger's crotch, and no amount of Jay's research was going to make them any happier about it. I ask myself the question: Would my next bottom want these ropes on them if they knew where they'd been last? How about in their mouth, when I decide on the fly to make a rope gag? If the answer to either of these is "no," that rope gets hand-crocheted and put in the washing pile.
The fun part is once I've washed and line dried a batch, and am oiling it to put away again. Ah yes: this was a lovely rope gag when I did that hog tie. And this is what I used as crotch ropes with the Magic Wand. Oh and this! This was that lovely hand-tied dildo harness. Mmmm, memories.
(I'm also amused that I can now have about 90 feet of rope out of commission and not feel a loss!)
For other types of play, many reasonable riggers disagree on whether or not to wash. Some do, others don't. Jay Wiseman -- known for his focus on safety, and his fanaticism for medical research related to BDSM -- notes that there are no known cases of any disease being transmitted via rope (Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook, Greenery Press, Emeryville, CA; 2000, p 116), and that any disease would need a moist environment to survive, such that merely drying one's ropes thoroughly after play should suffice (118). That said, he then goes for several pages to talk about disinfection for those who want it.
For me, the question of actual disease transmission is really secondary to the squick factor. I once saw Jay borrow rope from a couple for a demo. The couple were none too happy to have the ropes back after they'd been in a stranger's crotch, and no amount of Jay's research was going to make them any happier about it. I ask myself the question: Would my next bottom want these ropes on them if they knew where they'd been last? How about in their mouth, when I decide on the fly to make a rope gag? If the answer to either of these is "no," that rope gets hand-crocheted and put in the washing pile.
The fun part is once I've washed and line dried a batch, and am oiling it to put away again. Ah yes: this was a lovely rope gag when I did that hog tie. And this is what I used as crotch ropes with the Magic Wand. Oh and this! This was that lovely hand-tied dildo harness. Mmmm, memories.
(I'm also amused that I can now have about 90 feet of rope out of commission and not feel a loss!)
Friday, January 26, 2007
Kinky microbusiness
As I build up my toy chest, I want to support community artisans when I can.
Yes, there are major sex industry companies starting to pay attention to kink. But compare Doc Johnson's "Japanese bondage rope" (don't get me started . . . ) to actual hand-processed hemp rope and there's really no comparison is there? Same with floggers. Yes, I can by a mass-produced flogger, if I really want to. But that's worlds away from the gorgeous work I can by from an actual artisan, in the community, who is probably the first consumer of their own best work.
Increasingly, most of my toys come from folks I have met. The beautiful floggers I've bought from kinky pagan vendors at Pantheacon, or the rope I buy from Twisted Monk. The amazing canes I've bought from Prysm or the "cane guy" at EROS. (Gods, I miss the cane guy!)
There's something important to me about the quality and energy of hand-made tools. Even if they follow a design rather than being one of a kind - as most of Prysm's work does - these tools have a very different vibe than mass-production. And, I know that my money is staying in the community, which fits with my leftie values.
That said, there's a word to say about how it's done. I think part of it is about the vendor knowing their own limits.
That Monk? He's wicked smart. When I order there, the little automated message says it's going to be two to three weeks before they get around to my order. And then, a couple of days later, I get that automated message that says my order has shipped, the email that always makes me squee a bit. Monk follows the first rule of smart business: underpromise, and overdeliver. I've ordered right before Hallowe'en, Christmas, a huge event when I know the staff are crunched. I always order with the expectation that getting the order will take a while. It never does. Last time I ordered, there was a wee issue with the shopping cart. I mentioned it, and it was fixed literally within minutes. Very professional.
Contrast this with another site that I went to the same day I ordered the rope. It had lovely tools. I loved looking at the work. It had a few custom items not for sale but for inspiration, and others for sale. Some of them I could almost imagine in my hands. The ones for sale has a listed price, but despite this the site said you have to contact the vendor before making a purchase. Okay. But the email link is broken. I reconstruct the email by hand from the link, and send out the note. Since that day, my rope order has been placed, processed, and shipped. I'm still waiting for a return email from my query on the other site. Not very professional.
Same thing at any event. Some booths have not only their wares, but cards and information. They make eye contact. They explain their tools. The vendors shake hands, and are friendly. Prysm even encourages you to try the Thumper, with an evil glint in her eyes.
Or, someone has a booth at an event, and is very clear - what you see is that you get, I just don't have the bandwidth to do custom orders or to do this as my day job. Also professional, in its way. Not everyone has the energy to do this all the time, but they also have the goodwill to offer what they make when they make it. There's nothing wrong there. It's the making promises (even implied ones) that you can't back up that leads to trouble, I think.
So, that's my rant on the state of kinky microbusiness today. All this and a book to say I'm having a hard time finding floggers and a custom-made collar that I like! I'm putting my hopes on Pantheacon . . .
Yes, there are major sex industry companies starting to pay attention to kink. But compare Doc Johnson's "Japanese bondage rope" (don't get me started . . . ) to actual hand-processed hemp rope and there's really no comparison is there? Same with floggers. Yes, I can by a mass-produced flogger, if I really want to. But that's worlds away from the gorgeous work I can by from an actual artisan, in the community, who is probably the first consumer of their own best work.
Increasingly, most of my toys come from folks I have met. The beautiful floggers I've bought from kinky pagan vendors at Pantheacon, or the rope I buy from Twisted Monk. The amazing canes I've bought from Prysm or the "cane guy" at EROS. (Gods, I miss the cane guy!)
There's something important to me about the quality and energy of hand-made tools. Even if they follow a design rather than being one of a kind - as most of Prysm's work does - these tools have a very different vibe than mass-production. And, I know that my money is staying in the community, which fits with my leftie values.
That said, there's a word to say about how it's done. I think part of it is about the vendor knowing their own limits.
That Monk? He's wicked smart. When I order there, the little automated message says it's going to be two to three weeks before they get around to my order. And then, a couple of days later, I get that automated message that says my order has shipped, the email that always makes me squee a bit. Monk follows the first rule of smart business: underpromise, and overdeliver. I've ordered right before Hallowe'en, Christmas, a huge event when I know the staff are crunched. I always order with the expectation that getting the order will take a while. It never does. Last time I ordered, there was a wee issue with the shopping cart. I mentioned it, and it was fixed literally within minutes. Very professional.
Contrast this with another site that I went to the same day I ordered the rope. It had lovely tools. I loved looking at the work. It had a few custom items not for sale but for inspiration, and others for sale. Some of them I could almost imagine in my hands. The ones for sale has a listed price, but despite this the site said you have to contact the vendor before making a purchase. Okay. But the email link is broken. I reconstruct the email by hand from the link, and send out the note. Since that day, my rope order has been placed, processed, and shipped. I'm still waiting for a return email from my query on the other site. Not very professional.
Same thing at any event. Some booths have not only their wares, but cards and information. They make eye contact. They explain their tools. The vendors shake hands, and are friendly. Prysm even encourages you to try the Thumper, with an evil glint in her eyes.
Or, someone has a booth at an event, and is very clear - what you see is that you get, I just don't have the bandwidth to do custom orders or to do this as my day job. Also professional, in its way. Not everyone has the energy to do this all the time, but they also have the goodwill to offer what they make when they make it. There's nothing wrong there. It's the making promises (even implied ones) that you can't back up that leads to trouble, I think.
So, that's my rant on the state of kinky microbusiness today. All this and a book to say I'm having a hard time finding floggers and a custom-made collar that I like! I'm putting my hopes on Pantheacon . . .
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Arcane's Attic
I found the link to Arcane's Attic from the tutorials. In the "handouts" section there's a neat little set of tutorials on Florentine double-handed flogging. Not my thing at the moment, but maybe someone will find it useful.
The floggers are also lovely looking, and very reasonable. I am excited about one stingy suede one with a four-inch handle especially designed for users with small hands. It's difficult to find floggers that are sized for wee things like myself and the girls I tend to play with. It's nice to see someone out there paying attention to us as a market.
The floggers are also lovely looking, and very reasonable. I am excited about one stingy suede one with a four-inch handle especially designed for users with small hands. It's difficult to find floggers that are sized for wee things like myself and the girls I tend to play with. It's nice to see someone out there paying attention to us as a market.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Jute!
Because I love y'all, I am passing along the scoop that Twisted Monk just posted a 40% off sale on Japanese jute rope. For the moment, the jute is less expensive than hemp. $0.75 per foot. Check out the "exotics" section, and enjoy.
Of course, I posted this after first placing my order. I love y'all, but a girl must have her priorities.
Of course, I posted this after first placing my order. I love y'all, but a girl must have her priorities.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Bondage scarves and clothing lust
If one of these lovely Bridgett Harrington bondage scarfs was available in red, I'd probably have bought it at ARS last summer. Still trying to decide if I'll settle for black . . .
Saturday, December 2, 2006
Rope
I desperately needed some downtime and reflection last night. My mundane brain said: "Watch a movie!" But the temple called louder.
So, I took the rope I'd been magickally processing last week and decided to do more with it.
I ran it through the washer on hot, and hung it to dry for just a couple of hours, then re-burnished it. With the ropes still damp, I could spend much more time on each spot to singe it without risk of burning through. I spent a long, meditative time reburnishing each rope twice through. And then I crocheted the rope again, still damp but sooty, and ran it through the washer again on hot. And then I did something I almost never do and ran the rope through the dryer until it was nearly dry, hoping to soften the fibers a bit more.
And - it seems to have worked! The rope smells like cut grass, not soot. It hasn't been oiled yet, but already it's soft. And most importantly, I can run it along the tender skin along the inside of my arm and it doesn't make me itch at all.
I'll oil it this afternoon, but already I am pleased with it. Which is good. I have 175 more feet of rope ready to be next.
So, I took the rope I'd been magickally processing last week and decided to do more with it.
I ran it through the washer on hot, and hung it to dry for just a couple of hours, then re-burnished it. With the ropes still damp, I could spend much more time on each spot to singe it without risk of burning through. I spent a long, meditative time reburnishing each rope twice through. And then I crocheted the rope again, still damp but sooty, and ran it through the washer again on hot. And then I did something I almost never do and ran the rope through the dryer until it was nearly dry, hoping to soften the fibers a bit more.
And - it seems to have worked! The rope smells like cut grass, not soot. It hasn't been oiled yet, but already it's soft. And most importantly, I can run it along the tender skin along the inside of my arm and it doesn't make me itch at all.
I'll oil it this afternoon, but already I am pleased with it. Which is good. I have 175 more feet of rope ready to be next.
Friday, December 1, 2006
Things I've learned
Well, I learned a few things tonight in re-processing the hemp rope I've been working on.
1. This thing about hemp rope not playing nicely with water? True!
2. Knots in hemp subjected to water? I might as well forget about ever getting them out.
3. My EMT shears work, even on stubborn water-logged rope.
Learning these lessons experientially without a submissive in the ropes? Priceless.
I probably needed a couple of 15 foot lengths of the 6mm anyway. But next time I'll take the damned midpoint knots out and crochet the rope properly before running it through the washer. Sheesh.
In other news, tonight I did my burnishing with the rope still damp and that worked out nicely: I was able to burnish each section longer without risk of burning through. Good to know, now that I've bought another 65 feet of 4mm and 95 feet of 8mm that needs processing . . .
1. This thing about hemp rope not playing nicely with water? True!
2. Knots in hemp subjected to water? I might as well forget about ever getting them out.
3. My EMT shears work, even on stubborn water-logged rope.
Learning these lessons experientially without a submissive in the ropes? Priceless.
I probably needed a couple of 15 foot lengths of the 6mm anyway. But next time I'll take the damned midpoint knots out and crochet the rope properly before running it through the washer. Sheesh.
In other news, tonight I did my burnishing with the rope still damp and that worked out nicely: I was able to burnish each section longer without risk of burning through. Good to know, now that I've bought another 65 feet of 4mm and 95 feet of 8mm that needs processing . . .
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
The rule of three
Aha! I've found new hope for my handprocessed rope!
The lovely folks at Erotic Hemp detail their 7-stage rope processing in a FAQ on their web site. (Frankly such transparency is unlikely to lose them business. It takes a stubborn rigger to process rope on one's own - trust me!)
Their stages are different than the stages I picked up from Bridgett Harrington and detailed in an earlier post. But I think the real difference is that they go through their full seven stages three times. Aha! Yes, I can see how that might get me there. I'd already been pondering doing a 2d pass on my handmade ropes to further refine them; it's nice to know that may just be part of the process.
The lovely folks at Erotic Hemp detail their 7-stage rope processing in a FAQ on their web site. (Frankly such transparency is unlikely to lose them business. It takes a stubborn rigger to process rope on one's own - trust me!)
Their stages are different than the stages I picked up from Bridgett Harrington and detailed in an earlier post. But I think the real difference is that they go through their full seven stages three times. Aha! Yes, I can see how that might get me there. I'd already been pondering doing a 2d pass on my handmade ropes to further refine them; it's nice to know that may just be part of the process.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Elements of Rope Processing
So, I've finally gotten through all of the stages to hand process my first batch of hemp rope, with imperfect but mostly satisfying results. It's definitely not the lovely treated stuff I get from Twisted Monk or Erotic Hemp. Perhaps with time my own work will get there - or possibly not. But as a magickal person, I'm intrigued by the idea of making and consecrating my own tools, and that enough is worth further exploration.
For those who don't know, raw hemp rope like you might find at a marine supply or good hardware store (or, in my case, hippie Eco-friendly department store) is not something you want to put on human bodies, probably not even if they're serious masochists. The stuff is scratchy in a bad way, full of stems and other things you don't want on your bottoms' bottoms. I find it very itchy to the skin. The weave may also not be terribly even. And so, you need to process it to make it worth playing with.
The steps are simple, if a bit tedious. Here's what I did, based on reading Bridgett Harrington's very informative Shibari You Can Use, talking with local riggers, and adding a bit of magickal tech.
Pre-step 1: If you have such luxuries, pass these instructions on to a service submissive and have them make the ropes you'll be tying on them. Sadly, I skipped this step . . .
1. Cut the rope into the lengths you want, and finish the ends to prevent unravelling. You can finish the ends by whipping them (basically, sewing a fancy knot onto them with thread, which you can learn in your favorite knot book), or using an overhand knot or wall knot. I happen to like overhand knots at the ends of my ropes for holding larkshead additions to the ends, so I cut my rope into three 30-foot lengths and finished them with overhand knots.
The blade is an element of discernment, distinction making, and (in this working) air. In cutting, consider: what does it mean to take measure? As you tie: What loose ends do you gather? To what end?
2. Find the midway point of the rope, and bight it so that you have two strands side by side. At the end of both, begin to loosely hand-crochet the rope until you have a manageable hand-crocheted bundle. Repeat with other ropes.
3. Set the biggest stockpot you have to boil with water. Put in your ropes. Pretend they are spaghetti -- really nauseating smelling spaghetti. Set them to boil for an hour, stirring occasionally. Warning: this will make your house smell like bongwater. This step helps to boil out some of the loose bits, and to even up the weave.
Purification is traditionally done with water. As you set the pot to boil, what is your intention for this purification? As you pour out the (by now nauseating smelling) water, what do you release?
4. Uncrochet the ropes and hang them up to dry somewhere for 1-2 days, very loosely coiled. I recommend not drying these in the sun, as sunlight can be damaging to fibers, but probably drying them outside for just a day or two isn't enough to cause damage.
5. When you are ready to consecrate the rope, get a tealight or other safe small candle, and set up a place you can safely work without setting your house on fire should something go wrong. I used a small table in my temple for this, but an uncarpeted space would have been safer. Following Bridgett Harrington's advise, I put on good music - in this case Nurse With Wound's Rock and Roll Station, which I've long used for magickal and scene work.
Run the rope slowly, but not too slowly, through the fire, singing off any loose and scratchy fibers. Slowly turn the rope as you go to ensure that you are burnishing all of the rope evenly. Feel the rope as you go: I worked about a foot at a time, and then used my hands to smooth the rope down, putting out any little embers in the process and feeling if the rope needed to go back through again for more burnishing.
Fire is used to burnish, to consecrate, to dedicate. This step feels on a visceral level like a transformation. I passed the rope from left (if you're a qabalist: severity) to right (mildness) and could feel the stiff rope from the left not only lose its scratchy fibers passing to the right, but also loosen considerably. The very stiff scratchy coils to the left became very supple coils of softer rope on the right. At this stage, as questions of transformation: What am I transforming in this process? How can I use this rope as a tool of transformation, to create forms that could not otherwise occur?
I feel like this stage will see the most improvement as I do more rope processing. My first batch turned sooty in spots, and today smells of camp fire.
6. Check the rope again by running it through your hands. Any scratchy bits? Re-burnish as needed.
7. Because my rope was sooty in spots, I added a step. First, I washed my (also sooty) hands thoroughly to cleanse them magickally and physically. Then I took a white cloth, and ran the ropes through it a couple of times to remove as much soot as possible before oiling them. As I did, I tried to run the rope through in a way that would also work with the weave of the rope.
8. At this stage, the rope should be fairly even and no longer actively scratchy, but it's probably very dry. Take some oil -- I use hemp oil from the health food store, others use mink oil -- and use a cloth or your hands to rub some bit into the ropes to keep them flexible and supple.
The oil has been a source of much debate! My coven brother wants to assign it to air, and Crowley assigns his holy oil to fire. After sitting with this a couple of days, I still want to assign the oil to earth. This is the final step, the grounding, setting the firm foundation for the work. This is making the rope ready to meet the corporeal body. And so, I say that oiling is a dedication of earth. As you oil, ask yourself questions of manifestation: What will be the use of this rope? How can I remain grounded in my practice? How can I bring delight into being with this new tool?
9. If you ever need to wash or decontaminate ropes - which should hopefully be rare - you can repeat the boiling and oiling, or throw them in a pillowcase in the washing machine and reoil them. You don't typically need to wash ropes between play sessions - human oils will just make the rope softer over time. And, Jay Wiseman (who really knows his medical stuff as well as rope stuff) says that any other fluids' potential as a carrier would be lost with a couple of day's drying.
That said, I tend to wash my ropes if they come in contact with saliva or other fluids. If on some happy day they come in contact with someone's blood (consensually, of course) I'll happily gift that bottom with his or her own rope afterward. But for most play, I don't wash the ropes - it will just break them down faster, and work against the natural conditioning process.
And there you have it: the four elements of processing rope. Now, there is only to play at the center - enjoy!
For those who don't know, raw hemp rope like you might find at a marine supply or good hardware store (or, in my case, hippie Eco-friendly department store) is not something you want to put on human bodies, probably not even if they're serious masochists. The stuff is scratchy in a bad way, full of stems and other things you don't want on your bottoms' bottoms. I find it very itchy to the skin. The weave may also not be terribly even. And so, you need to process it to make it worth playing with.
The steps are simple, if a bit tedious. Here's what I did, based on reading Bridgett Harrington's very informative Shibari You Can Use, talking with local riggers, and adding a bit of magickal tech.
Pre-step 1: If you have such luxuries, pass these instructions on to a service submissive and have them make the ropes you'll be tying on them. Sadly, I skipped this step . . .
1. Cut the rope into the lengths you want, and finish the ends to prevent unravelling. You can finish the ends by whipping them (basically, sewing a fancy knot onto them with thread, which you can learn in your favorite knot book), or using an overhand knot or wall knot. I happen to like overhand knots at the ends of my ropes for holding larkshead additions to the ends, so I cut my rope into three 30-foot lengths and finished them with overhand knots.
The blade is an element of discernment, distinction making, and (in this working) air. In cutting, consider: what does it mean to take measure? As you tie: What loose ends do you gather? To what end?
2. Find the midway point of the rope, and bight it so that you have two strands side by side. At the end of both, begin to loosely hand-crochet the rope until you have a manageable hand-crocheted bundle. Repeat with other ropes.
3. Set the biggest stockpot you have to boil with water. Put in your ropes. Pretend they are spaghetti -- really nauseating smelling spaghetti. Set them to boil for an hour, stirring occasionally. Warning: this will make your house smell like bongwater. This step helps to boil out some of the loose bits, and to even up the weave.
Purification is traditionally done with water. As you set the pot to boil, what is your intention for this purification? As you pour out the (by now nauseating smelling) water, what do you release?
4. Uncrochet the ropes and hang them up to dry somewhere for 1-2 days, very loosely coiled. I recommend not drying these in the sun, as sunlight can be damaging to fibers, but probably drying them outside for just a day or two isn't enough to cause damage.
5. When you are ready to consecrate the rope, get a tealight or other safe small candle, and set up a place you can safely work without setting your house on fire should something go wrong. I used a small table in my temple for this, but an uncarpeted space would have been safer. Following Bridgett Harrington's advise, I put on good music - in this case Nurse With Wound's Rock and Roll Station, which I've long used for magickal and scene work.
Run the rope slowly, but not too slowly, through the fire, singing off any loose and scratchy fibers. Slowly turn the rope as you go to ensure that you are burnishing all of the rope evenly. Feel the rope as you go: I worked about a foot at a time, and then used my hands to smooth the rope down, putting out any little embers in the process and feeling if the rope needed to go back through again for more burnishing.
Fire is used to burnish, to consecrate, to dedicate. This step feels on a visceral level like a transformation. I passed the rope from left (if you're a qabalist: severity) to right (mildness) and could feel the stiff rope from the left not only lose its scratchy fibers passing to the right, but also loosen considerably. The very stiff scratchy coils to the left became very supple coils of softer rope on the right. At this stage, as questions of transformation: What am I transforming in this process? How can I use this rope as a tool of transformation, to create forms that could not otherwise occur?
I feel like this stage will see the most improvement as I do more rope processing. My first batch turned sooty in spots, and today smells of camp fire.
6. Check the rope again by running it through your hands. Any scratchy bits? Re-burnish as needed.
7. Because my rope was sooty in spots, I added a step. First, I washed my (also sooty) hands thoroughly to cleanse them magickally and physically. Then I took a white cloth, and ran the ropes through it a couple of times to remove as much soot as possible before oiling them. As I did, I tried to run the rope through in a way that would also work with the weave of the rope.
8. At this stage, the rope should be fairly even and no longer actively scratchy, but it's probably very dry. Take some oil -- I use hemp oil from the health food store, others use mink oil -- and use a cloth or your hands to rub some bit into the ropes to keep them flexible and supple.
The oil has been a source of much debate! My coven brother wants to assign it to air, and Crowley assigns his holy oil to fire. After sitting with this a couple of days, I still want to assign the oil to earth. This is the final step, the grounding, setting the firm foundation for the work. This is making the rope ready to meet the corporeal body. And so, I say that oiling is a dedication of earth. As you oil, ask yourself questions of manifestation: What will be the use of this rope? How can I remain grounded in my practice? How can I bring delight into being with this new tool?
9. If you ever need to wash or decontaminate ropes - which should hopefully be rare - you can repeat the boiling and oiling, or throw them in a pillowcase in the washing machine and reoil them. You don't typically need to wash ropes between play sessions - human oils will just make the rope softer over time. And, Jay Wiseman (who really knows his medical stuff as well as rope stuff) says that any other fluids' potential as a carrier would be lost with a couple of day's drying.
That said, I tend to wash my ropes if they come in contact with saliva or other fluids. If on some happy day they come in contact with someone's blood (consensually, of course) I'll happily gift that bottom with his or her own rope afterward. But for most play, I don't wash the ropes - it will just break them down faster, and work against the natural conditioning process.
And there you have it: the four elements of processing rope. Now, there is only to play at the center - enjoy!
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