Floors and Foundations

Or, Witch/apprentice as the new D/s paradigm?

So, I've recently returned to a kabbalistic project of mine, poring through medieval and modern texts on kabbalah, cabala and qabala to learn as broad a perspective as I can, using the sephirot as a structure. Having recently returned to this, I'm starting over at the bottom, reviewing and researching the bottom two spheres of Malkuth (Kingdom) and Yesod (Foundation), as well as adding to the pile new books that I hadn't covered in my previous research. So, that was my planned magickal work of the evening during my service session.

Coincidentally or not, I decided that yesterday's session would be about my floors. I hate doing floors. Hate, hate, hate sweeping them. Hate, hate, hate mopping them. I probably would have chosen that service regardless, but the magickal parallelism was too great to ignore.

And so it was that I opened my session again this week by talking about the magickal work I had planned for the night, and how my submissive's work would feed into that. I gave him just a very rough overview of the work, and asked him to pay special attention to the floors in three spots in my house, and then set him to work.

Other magickal stuff uncovered itself, as it will. In order to clean the kitchen floor, he had to move the coins and offerings I had to Legba behind the door. As he was putting things to rights again, I asked where the coins had gone and briefly explained why they'd been there, and why he had to be the one to put them back and how to do so. I explained that he can, in making those offerings, ask for assistance at any crossroads in his life.

Later, when we were having our chat at the end of the session, he mentioned that he is at a lot of metaphoric crossroads right now, and seemed amazed that I had keyed into this for him. "Well, darling, that's what happens when you choose a witch for your dom." We talked a bit about how Legba might be able to help with his choices, and about how to build that relationship. I added extra attention at real and metaphoric crossroads to the between-class homework, and we made plans for our weekend session.

I'm very pleased at the direction this is taking.

Unsurprisingly, I got to my email afterward to find that the Pyrate Lass, who knows next to nothing about the kabbalistic work I'm doing, had sent me a painting she worked on last night. It is completely filled with colors, symbols and objects that I associate with Malkuth and Yesod. Life is very funny that way sometimes.

Closing the circle

It's been important to me lately to bring all of my tools to bear in both my communities, which works for me because there is a lot more overlap than what one would think. So much of the basic tech around communication skills, creating a good container for the work, raising energy, grounding, etc. is shared at a pretty deep level by my magickal community and the kink community. And where there's not already overlap, there's a lot of room for potential. (For example, I think a kink community grounded in consent has a lot to learn from consensus.) I have several articles rattling around the back of my head on this, none of which I'll be writing in the limited time I have today.

But sometimes the tools are really quite literal as well. I (co-)priestess a fair number of rituals for the pagan holidays, and have been finding ways to bring my "other" tools out to play -- for example using my rope to create a quick drum harness, or as a cord to hold my athame. Last night, it was casting circle using my new, razor-sharp scene knife. Yes, of course, it was a magickal tool already. But even I was surprised at how much energy it held of it's own as I held it to the ground before casting circle. Forget any purist that would begrudge it its little plastic handle; it did its job well.

Bringing my athame to play was a no-brainer. Bringing my new scene knife to ritual was less intuitive, but I'm very glad I did it. These kinds of shared tools bring me full circle: top to priestess, bottom to mystic, and every point between.

Happy Equinox, y'all.

The spirit of the rope

Being a good pagan, I realized early this week that I should try to build an alliance with my rope as a tool by creating a relationship with the spirit of the rope itself. Yes, those of you who are not pagans may think this is gobbeldygook, but it all felt very profound to me.

For the most part, this has involved lots of using a 15-foot rope to tie myself into a lovely crotch rope with a "happy knot" and masturbating, while focused on increasing my erotic ties to the rope.

Unsurprisingly, it's been a very good week. ;-)

A Rite of Unbinding

In the Reclaiming and Feri traditions (and probably others) rites of unbinding are used to free up life force that might be tied up with unnecessary neuroses, events or distractions.

For obvious reasons, I'm intrigued by the language here. What if the rite of unbinding involved literal rope?

I think there would be a number of ways to approach this. Hence this post is "a" rite of unbinding, not "the" rite. This rite uses the same basic tech as a chaos magick sigil, in which the explicit aim is to encode the will into the spell, forget its conscious construction, and then release it to allow the unconscious to do its work.

A rite of unbinding

First - formulate your Will and determination to perform the ritual.

It is very important (for reasons beyond the scope of this entry) to formulate your will in the positive. For example, if you are doing a spell to have a cleaner house, avoid: "I will not leave the messy dishes in the sink for two days," in favor of "I will live in a clean and pleasant house." There are a couple of very simple reasons for this - mostly one of focus. The magickal self latches onto images, and couldn't care less about qualifiers like "not." If the shiny image in your sentence is "messy house" that's where the energy goes. If the shiny image is "clean house," likewise. (In theory, one could do a different rite of unbinding that literaly binds one with the bad juju and creates a means for escape, but that seems a longer and much more dangerous spell.)

If you decide to proceed, be sure to get tools and some safety equipment to hand - EMT shears, rope, water. Like lighting candles for your rituals? Not unless you have a priestess around, my friend.

If a priest/top is facilitating the spell, she should be made aware of the intention and should set it actively when binding the ropes.

Then, do the binding, deliberately setting your Will into the ropes as they go on. A priest/top can made the bondage as straightforward or elaborate as desired. For solo rituals, I find that crossing the legs and binding them with a simple two-column (or even one-column) tie at the ankles works just fine.

A period of meditation may be desired, but I offer a cautionary note - don't try to figure out what actualizing your Will "looks like" right now. In our example about the clean house - sure, you might get better at cleaning. You might suddenly come into enough money to afford a regular maid service. You could find the perfect service submissive. You could win a contest for a new house. You just don't know. Try not to get attached to how things will actualize, and let the Universe surprise you.

Raise energy. Sensation play is good for this - pain and pleasure can both be used to feed the spell. If you are doing the spell on your own, masturbation is probably the best way to raise energy (and also is a good way to honor the chaos magick roots of the spell). When the energy peaks, send it off with a breath to actualize your Work.

Rest a moment.

As you remove the ropes or have them removed, imagine that the spell is literally lifting away from you to work in its own mysterious ways. Feel your energy unbind from what had previously concerned you, knowing that change is on the way.

Containing Beauty and Darkness: Twinned Pentacles of Power Exchange

The original version of this article was published in Witcheye: A Journal of Feri Uprising Issue 13. The article has been slightly amended for those who might not be familiar with Feri traditions and tools.

In the Feri creation myth, the Star Goddess looks into the mirror of space, sees her opposite mirrored back, and falls in love. Through her ecstasy, she births twins: brothers and lovers, tumbling in cosmic play. These divine twins circle and dance, spinning out universes of possibility and transformation, generating transformative energy through the cycling of their difference, and the axis of their common birth.

The twins dance through us when we are entwined with our lovers, spinning threads of difference:

Light and darkness.
Beauty and terror.
Pain and ecstasy.

Magick and Power Exchange

In the practice of power exchange, the divine twins can provide sacred patronage under which to hold the polarities of dominance and submission, or consensual sadomasochism. These practices provide a container through which lovers can generate powerful creative energy through the eroticism of difference.

Dominance and submission? Sadism and masochism? For magickians who haven't worked with these energies, the fit with the divine erotic might not be intuitive. Witches in some Feri lines (such as Starhawk in Reclaiming) have even called these types of play a perversion of life force. So, what do I mean when I invoke these charged words?

While far from simple, BDSM roles function most simply as priest/ess and trance journeyer. A top or dominant in a consensual scene functions as priest/ess - the person who watches, directs and manages the flow of intense energy. This allows the bottom or submissive to safely travel as edgewalker - one who through the skilled facilitation of the top can navigate the inner worlds of altered consciousness and journey to other realms.

One route to ecstasy is the use of sensation play, which may include sensory stimulation, sensory deprivation, or pain play. Midori, a teacher and writer in the BDSM scene, is careful to distinguish between pain play and the larger field of sensation play. I am fond of her definition of a sadist as one who enjoys creating intense sensation (of whatever type) in another. Other roles might involve fantasy play without physical contact - we might think of this as ritual theater. For the purposes of this article, I will use "top" to describe those taking on the active role: be that sadist, dominant, or some other role. I will use "bottom" to describe the participant who is being directed, by that in a masochistic, or submissive, or service role, or in some other way. (A full description of the roles of BDSM top or bottom can take an entire book - and has! I strongly recommend The Topping Book and The Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy for more information on this topic.)

BDSM practitioners largely describe their play as "safe, sane and consensual". Others call their play "risk-aware consensual kink," acknowledging more explicitly that while we aim for work that is ultimately safe, this work -- like the work of Feri itself -- is dangerous, not least in the sense that it is life changing. Both terms draw a firm line between the fully-informed consent of power exchange and non-consensual abuse. In both models, our task is to create strong containers in which to do edgy work as safely and intentionally as possible for those involved.

The Iron Pentacle

In Feri, one of the best such anchors is the Iron Pentacle. Daily work with the birthright powers of Sex, Pride, Self, Power and Passion keeps us grounded and centered and serves as an anchor for the rest of our work.

A full exploration of the Iron Pentacle is beyond the scope of any one article. In Feri, the work of the Iron Pentacle is considered the work of a lifetime: a tool to be contemplated in meditation, a set of energies to be run through the body, an anchor to one's iron blood and the iron core of the earth herself. Learning to distinguish between the pure Iron Will of Pride, for example, and differentiate that quality from shame or arrogance requires ruthless self-examination and vital courage. It is not undertaken lightly. Those who wish to undertake this work might seek out a local Reclaiming or Feri teacher; both traditions teach Iron Pentacle as a core class. In areas where such classes aren't available, I recommend T. Thorn Coyle's excellent Evolutionary Witchcraft.

Power Exchange Pentacles

Seeking a way to integrate my BDSM work with my magickal practice, I created the Power Exchange Pentacles as a working tool. These pentacles stack on top of and beneath the Iron Pentacle to initiate and anchor a shift from ordinary consciousness into 'topspace' or 'bottomspace' for BDSM play. Because of the way topspace and bottomspace play off one another in scene, one danger of scening is that we become reactive rather than fully embodying action and choice within our roles. (This danger might seem more intuitive for the bottom, but in fact is true in either role.) These pentacles keep us in the realm of action rather than reaction. They anchor both topspace and bottomspace as a conscious choice, fully connected with our Will and our Iron birthrights, allowing for deeper and more intentional travel into the altered spaces of scene play.

The Topping Pentacle

Circumference, Domination, Guardianship, Control, Compassion

Start by grounding, aligning and centering. If there is anything obstructing your energy, or which may cause you to confuse your priest/essing role with actual domination or control, use a purification rite to release those blocks.

Ground a cord to the center of the earth, and on a breath pull up the molten energy from the earth's core to the center of your head, the point of Sex. Run the Iron Pentacle through your body, feeling the hot, red iron energy energize the points of Sex, Pride, Self, Power and Passion. Run the Iron Pentacle across your body until you feel completely filled with and grounded in these energies, and then run once more around the body to seal the pentacle: From Sex to Self, to Passion, to Pride, to Power.

At the head, feel the spirit of Sex shift into Circumference. Running to the right leg, feel Pride shift to the role of Domination. Running the energy up to the left arm, feel Self shift into Guardianship. Running the energy across to the right arm, feel Power shift to Control. Running the energy down to the left leg, feel Passion shift to Compassion.

Continue run the energy across the body. As you do, feel the Iron energy begin to cool slightly. From the molten Iron which connects you to the earth, allow these energies to transform, through your cool-headedness, into an iron cauldron in which you can contain the energies of BDSM work. Feel your ability to hold the circumference and spirit of the work, your pride in holding a hot role that will please your bottom, your expansive ability to guard your partner's safe journeys to the edges of their Self, your ability to competently control and ground the energies of the scene, and your deep compassion for the emotional changes that this work brings.

Circumference, Domination, Guardianship, Control, Compassion. Run the pentacle across your body until you feel the cool power of the compassionate and competent top, fully grounded in the connection of your iron cauldron to the life force in the heart of the earth. When you are ready, run the pentacle once more around your body, as God Herself would draw it onto you: Circumference, Guardianship, Compassion, Domination, Control. Anchor those energies into your body, knowing that you can reconnect with these points as needed to facilitate your scene.

The Bottoming Pentacle

Center, Submission, Edgewalking, Release, Trust

Start by grounding, aligning and centering. If there is anything at all which obstructs your energy, or which may might cause you to confuse your choice to submit with true subordination, use a purification rite to release those blocks and to honor your power.

Check in with yourself. Are you starting from a place of power and in alignment with your Will? If you cannot answer both questions with "yes," this is probably not the time to scene. Remember: you cannot exchange power you do not have.

Ground a cord to the center of the earth, and on a breath pull up the molten energy from the earth's core to the center of your head, the point of Sex. Run the Iron Pentacle through your body, feeling the hot, red iron energy energize the points of Sex, Pride, Self, Power and Passion. Run the IP across your body until filled with and grounded in these energies, and then run once more around the body to seal the pentacle.

In your head, feel the spirit of Sex shift into Center. Running to the right leg, feel Pride shift to the role of Submission. Running the energy up to the left arm, feel Self shift into Edgewalking. Running the energy across to the right arm, feel Power allow for Release. Running the energy down to the left leg, feel Passion build Trust.

Continue to run the energy across the body. As you do so, allow the Iron energy to remain molten and flow freely. Feel your sex energy at the center remain fluid, allowing you to flexibly and move with the spirit of the play to come. Move through your sex energy deeply into the edgespace at your center, the center of sacred work and sacred play. Step into a submissive role that is rooted in the heat of your pride: your ability to submit without shame to pleasure. Step into the airy and spacious edges of self. Empower yourself to release your agency for the duration of the scene. Passionately open to the deep waters of trust for your partner and the intensity of your desire.

Center, Submission, Edgewalking, Release, Trust. Run the pentacle across your body until you feel the liquid force of a fully empowered and willing bottom, fully grounded in the connection of your molten iron energy with the life force in the heart of the earth. When you are ready, run the pentacle once more around your body, as God Herself would draw it onto you: Center, Edgewalking, Trust, Submission, Release. Anchor those energies into your body, knowing that you can reconnect with these points as needed to relax fully into your scene.

Using the Pentacles

I most often use the Topping or Bottoming Pentacle as a solo practice to prepare myself not only for going into scene, but also for gaining clarity before going into kink-focused social events. I am a 'switch' (taking on a topping or bottoming role situationally, rather than preferring one or the other as an ongoing role), but started out bottoming. When I was first topping, I found the Topping pentacle very useful in solidifying an active priestessing role that was less intuitive for me.

Two or more partners can also run the pentacles simultaneously as a part of creating sacred space for a scene, starting by running iron together, then shifting into the respective pentacles to create the container for the work.

BDSM can lead to intense altered states. After the scene is completely finished, it's a good idea to fully release the topping and bottoming roles. Running the Iron Pentacle in tandem with your partner or alone is a good way to come fully back to 'normal' consciousnes after this work.

Sex: Circumference: Center

Sex is our connection to life force, which allows us to embody spirit through Ecstasy. In sexual exchanges without power play, the sex force might feel deeply connective: merging, entwining, becoming closer. In power exchange, connective life force also runs deeply, but it does so within a container created by difference and distinction, tension and differentiation. The top distances energetically from the bottom, and in so doing intensifies the arc of desire: the distance between lover and beloved opens up a space for longing.

The energetic connection between top and bottom is that of circumference to center, which opens to the mystery: these are in fact the same space after all.

Pride: Domination: Submission

The points of domination and submission are located at the position of pride. BDSM treats these positions as chosen roles for a type of ritual theater, not static positions. Many BDSM practitioners will tell you that the true power in a scene lies with the submissive, who chooses the parameters of the scene, and holds a 'safe word' to stop or pause the scene should it cross their boundaries, stated or unstated.

Feri tradition cautions witches not to submit their life force to any person or thing. It's important to note that submission in BDSM is not a giving over of the life force but rather a conscious choice made to explore polarity play, typically for a limited duration. Submission in scene is a deliberate role taken on, in alliance with the dominating priest/ess, to harness and contain life force. Domination is a role to embody the submissive's fantasies and desires. As with any ritual theater role, the roles of dominant and submissive are best aspected from a starting position of pride.

Self: Guardianship: Edgewalking

The energies of power exchange play -- like all magick -- can be deeply transformative. Cultivating a strong sense of Self allows tops and bottoms to step clearly and fully into those roles -- and back out of them.

In play, the bottom is able to explore edges. It is the edge that is impacted by sensation play, where the top and his or her tools come up against the boundary of the skin. D/s play may work the psychological edges, exploring taboos that might be unacceptable to the everyday self. Particularly for bottoms, BDSM creates an opening for altering consciousness at will and exploring both inner space and other realms.

The responsible top functions as a guardian, allowing the bottom to safely navigate these other realms, watching that the bottom is able to safely explore their edges without in fact transgressing the boundaries needed to keep play safe.

Power: Control: Release

In order to exchange power, we must first have power to exchange. I cannot exchange power with you if I don't have any. BDSM is best suited to those who have a strong sense of their own power, and who are able to remain fully grounded.

One priestess has told me that she doesn't care for the term "power-exchange," because power is not truly exchanged through this work if done well, but is increased for both partners. Perhaps another way of looking at this point is agency exchange. The bottom consciously releases agency within a negotiated set of parameters that they would presumably not agree to out of scene. Stated or unstated, the bottom has asked to cede their power for the duration of play: "I will allow you to tie me up," or "Please spank me with a wooden paddle," or "Please order me to serve you." Within those parameters, the top controls the direction of the scene. On the meta-level, the bottom retains several measures of true agency: by participating in pre-negotiating the scene, and by holding 'safe words' that will allow them to stop or pause the scene if needed. Within the container of the scene, the bottom has the freedom to release their agency, knowing that their top will competently exercise control.

Passion: Compassion: Trust

BDSM can be 'technical', but it remains rooted in passion and desire. This play can open deep emotions and vulnerabilities for both partners.

Tops work best with compassion. As a top, I may be wielding a whippy cane or saying 'mean' things, but I can only do so safely with a profound respect for the bottom who is playing with me and who takes these blows. Topping without compassion risks crossing over in to abuse.

Compassion does not begin and end with a scene. When negotiating for a scene, it is important to hear what your partner does -- and does not -- want with compassion for both desire and its limits. It is not acceptable to denigrate another's wishes, especially in the vulnerable space of negotiation and scene. If as a top I cannot accommodate your desires, I need to speak to this compassionately. "How on earth can you be into that?" would be devastating to the bottom who has just confessed a taboo desire to me in trust. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can meet your needs for that. How about . . . ?" respects both the top's own desires and the integrity of a bottom's passion and trust. Even more importantly, a top must always respect limits and safewords. Boundaries are sacrosanct; a compassionate top does not violate them nor push.

A bottom needs to trust first their own instincts and then the top with whom they are playing. Trust in self always comes first. As a bottom, it is essential for me to listen to my fetch, that part of me that holds both my animal desire and my bodily knowing. There is a difference between fun and exhilarating fear, and actual concern. I have the obligation to myself to not play any top that will not honor my concerns or limits. If I run into a major concern mid-scene, I need to have the trust in myself and my top to use my safewords. Only after I fully trust myself can I begin to trust any top. Presumably, if I am playing with a top, I already have built some trust. Within scene, I should be willing to give that top a certain amount of agency and energetic support. And, if I have feedback, I should also give that with some compassion. (Tops are vulnerable, too!)

Conclusions

BDSM contains deep tools for healing, personal transformation, and ecstatic magick. BDSM can be used with intention to fully explore our full capacity as sexual human beings, and to know ourselves in all of our parts -- including parts that in everyday life are considered taboo or forbidden. Using our magickal tools -- alignment, purification, pentacle work -- reaffirms the sacred nature of this work.

Hesitancy, Boldness and Commitment

Those of us who cross both [the pagan and the kink] communities are in an especially fortunate place to begin this work. We know who we are; we're the ones that people approach timidly when they need to do a ritual to commemorate X, or to help them face Y. Perhaps we discuss it with them, and come up with a framework, and then they have to go away for a year or more and think about it before they can work themselves up to actually doing something about it. That's all right. It's what we're there for.

-- Raven Kaldera
Dark Moon Rising: Pagan BDSM and the Ordeal Path

My mythic ancestors did things the hard way: broke their hips wrestling with angels in the long night, walked forty years in the desert to cross a relatively short distance, created a glyph in which the point of connection is immediately followed by a long slog across the Abyss.

I reckon sometimes this might explain my internal wrestling. Each step of my work takes as long as it needs to take: working a triad of the Tree of Life, or stepping into priestessing my first public trance, or working through the steps of my personal initiation. Each runs deep for me. And long - years, for most of these. And as obvious as it seems after attaining each new level that I just had to "want it enough", the fact is that desiring each attainment as fiercely as possible in the moment didn't really help me work toward my goals any faster until I had also done the waiting and the work. The fear and the ambivalence were all part of the process, too.

It's the same in the scene.

Well, at least for me it is. I watch some of the younger members of the BDSM scene with awe. Five, ten, fifteen years younger than I am, sometimes they seem fearless going from one new experience to another with blinding speed and ferocity. It's inspiring.

They seem fearless. Perhaps they are, but I don't think that's it. I suspect it's that they commit to new experiences, and keep showing up.

Tops used to seem fearless to me. Priestesses, too. When I was a baby bottom, it sometimes seemed like those Tops had everything completely figured out, and were simply born fearless. A few of the members of the local BDSM club sometimes came to our local pagan salon, and to a one they terrified me. They sometimes invited us to come to meetings, munches, parties. This was twelve years ago, when I was still working desperately to overcome a sex abuse history and using meta-programming techniques to become more "sex positive". Ummm, thanks for the invite, but . . .

It took a few years before I moved beyond a bit of spanking and bondage to take part in more intentional BDSM scenes, still longer before I was able to clearly articulate my desires. I had been playing privately for several years before I began attending my first munches, meetings and classes, and another year still before I began attending public parties and SIGs.

Now that I know a bit more about the scene, I no longer see Tops as fearless. Or priestesses, for that matter. I know what it is to stand in the center of circle, surrounded by eighty witches, and to manage to get my lines straight. I know what it is to have something go wrong in circle and figure it out anyway so the magick comes off. I realize that Tops and priestesses both have fears. They simply have better techniques than most for encountering, naming, and working with those fears in partnership. (And if they don't - watch out! This is not a person you want to be in scene or circle with!)

Those fears don't go away, per se. But perhaps the fears become allies and partners. The fears show us where the power is.

And when that happens, we can begin to dance with the fears intentionally, leading them toward transformation rather than being led.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.

attributed to Goethe

In a priestessing class, one of my teachers did something very clever. He asked, "Who in this class has never drummed for circle?" And when several of us stepped forward to say we hadn't, he said. "Great! You're our drum core for the ritual starting in ten minutes!" And there we were. We had all of 15 seconds to stare at one another wide-eyed with fear before we had to get right toward planning what we'd do, while the teacher found other priestesses to push past their comfort zones. I've made a point since then of looking at ritual planning with that eye: finding the place that I'm least comfortable and taking that role, intentionally. Not taking on something I can't do -- that would be irresponsible. But taking on something I am capable of doing, but haven't pushed myself toward doing yet.

I've done the same thing with the scene. Almost every threshold I've crossed has been because I've taken a risk. The first time I was caned, my then girlfriend negotiated the scene with a Top friend of ours. The Top said, "Now you have to get her to say 'yes'." I'd been paying only half attention. I said yes and then asked, "What did I just say yes to again?" Being responsible, I think the Top would have happily let me back out at this point; informed consent is still the name of the game. But pride wouldn't let me back out, which was just what she was counting on. I do the same thing with myself as a Top. "Hmmm? Oh, yes, sure I'd love to tie you up for the party next week!" And then I'm committed. Key up two weeks of planning for a lovely scene. And I follow through.

The key, then, is committing. Signing up for the ritual. Winning the tickets for Shibaricon at auction. Beginning the class. Finding that place at the edge of my comfort level and going toward it actively rather than shying away. Those places of committment are where the power lies.

Wrestle, if you need to. I still believe the wrestling and the waiting are part of the process. Being ready is critical. But in those opening moments of readiness, begin it now. We are not fearless, but we may choose to be bold.